Family Visits

As we're just recuperating from my Dad visiting us for about a week to meet the babes and help us out, we're also getting ready for my father-in-law and his wife to come to Saskatchewan to do the same. Don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws. They're awesome and so supportive and so generous with us and excited beyond belief to meet the twins that it warms my shriveled little raisin of a heart. When you look at the big picture, as helpful as it may be it's still an added stress to have family over for any amount of time when you're still trying to get to know your own kids.

Even before the babies were born, I told Js about my "worries" for when family came to visit. The house won't be clean enough, we'll be tired, they'll get bored, they'll tell us what to do and when, and I'll loose my cool. I'm overall not one who deals well with being told what to do in normal circumstances. 

While I'm trying to figure out what the fuck we got ourselves into and how to handle these little shrimp I gave birth too, I don't need anyone to look over my shoulder and tell me what to do because "that's how we did it back in the day" or whatever. I need to fool myself into thinking I got this and I'm doing the right thing. I can't go on questioning myself day-in and day-out because I will literally go insane. Js brushed off my anxiety about it all saying "Don't freak out until we actually get there, it might not be that bad. You're overreacting (my personal favorite) and you're creating a problem before it actually happens." Well, sure as shit - the minute my Dad and my Aunt walk through the door and make the slightest comment at how Js is handling the babies, something along the lines of "watch his head" or "be careful" he internally looses his mind. After trying to convince myself that it wasn't going to happen and it wasn't such a huge deal, I'm now frantically bracing myself for the next couple of weeks. It's different when it's not your own parents, I guess. I was able to brush off most comments from my Dad and my Aunt whereas Js took them a lot more personally. That's what I have to look forward to. Yay.

When family says they want to help - my advice is to make sure their definition of "help" matches with your definition of "help". I don't want anyone to go ahead and scrub the inside of the fridge clean. I want someone to watch the babies while I take an extra long shower and do my nails. The fridge can wait. I'm worried that I'll wake up one morning and my mother-in-law will have gone through the pile of random shit stuffed into the little where-shit-goes-to-die drawer in the kitchen. Not helpful. I'm still at the same point as I was before except with a better organized junk drawer.

As for providing entertainment for our guests...

Stress. Sleep. Not good.

Ugh! I've been having a very hard time to shake off the sleepy-numb feeling lately. I can't wake up in the morning and I can't seem to fall asleep at night. I'll fall asleep anytime during the day as soon as my head hits the pillow. What's going on?

My sleep patterns are shite. I'm feeling sick constantly but I think it's from lack of quality sleep time. I've made efforts to eat better and more consistently this week, I'm doing a bit better, but still not back to my normal Me.

Is it because Js is coming home soon? Nerves? The Holidays? Health issues? PMSing? I don't know anymore!

Maybe it's the day light thing? I'm done work at 5pm and by the time I leave the mall, it's dark outside. What the eff is up with that? I always feel like sleeping because it's always night outside... then I nap during the day and can't sleep during normal hours! That might be it... but right now, I really really want this to stop. I can't be this tired for when Js comes home. It's going to be a c-r-a-z-y time for me. Work's going to be insane. I will want to spend every extra minute with him! Ugh!

Would someone just inject some Vitamin C or something in my veins so I can make it to December 19th in one piece? I hate that I will probably be a mess by the time he comes home because of work and everything else I have to do. I hate that I will be uber tired and probably will need to run around for some Holiday errands and such...

I'm so afraid that this won't be a great Holiday season for us! With all the stresses that we are living right now, it's hard to imagine things going smoothly.

Way to go, Marie. When you're stressed and worried about something, create something else to add to your stress and worry. *rolls eyes*