Back to reality.

Oy! Getting back to work after three whole weeks of doing next to nothing was pretty exhausting today. Before the holidays I finished up with my first contract with this employer (covering a maternity leave) and went in for three half days between Christmas and New Year's to do my part, today I started a new contract which takes me well into September as far as secure employment goes. It was kind of odd starting a "new" job that I kinda sorta already did, in a place where I knew everyone and didn't have to ask where I put my lunch bag or where the bathrooms are. I'm super grateful for having the opportunity to keep working there and I really hope to get something permanent by the end of this to keep my employee status and have transfer options when/if we ever do get posted outta here. I don't even want to get started on posting options/possibilities/odds right now... ugh.

Friends invited us over for dinner after work and it was nice to spend some time with them and their kids and just hang. On the not-topic of postings... I will cry every tear in my body when they get posted out. Seriously. We knew them both individually before they even met each other... and here they are, three years and two kids later... they're part of our Moose Jaw Fam.

Three more of my very close friends are getting posted out this summer. Again, just to be clear... we're totally not talking about postings. It's going to be a very long and sobby summer for this gal, me thinks. Don't get me wrong, I'm super thrilled for them that their husbands are finally done their training and they can move on to a more permanent and more family (vs career) oriented posting but there's a wee part of me that's a tad selfish and kinda wish I could keep them here with me forever.

The transient nature of our lifestyle sorta struck me today when I over heard someone say, with a distinct French accent, that they were new here and were looking for info for something... I literally RAN over and yelled "Don't go anywhere! I need to talk to you!" in hopes of introducing myself and offering help if they needed anything to get settled. As I ran towards her, my desperate little mind went "Way to look like a loser." but she seemed SO happy to talk and so relieved that I approached her, my more reserved self immediately forgave my insane self for looking like a complete tool.

It made me realize that we're always loosing friends but they make room for the new ones. And when we're the ones moving, we leave some behind to go meet total strangers. We'll have at least one thing in common and that's a good enough place to start when you're all alone...

Band-Aid Friendship

To add to my redefinition of friendship, I present to you : Band-Aid Friendship

The Band-Aid Friendship is a healthy blend of the Situational Friendship, the Occasional Friendship and the Now Friendship.

The Band-Aid friend is the friend who's only there for a short period of time in your life similar to the Situational friend. They can be a co-worker at a contract job or a temporary neighbor with whom you get along wonderfully but you know that when their time is up, it'll be over very much like the Now friend.

What makes the Band-Aid friend unique is that they are there to tide you over until the next one comes along. They are the friends you need in order to make it through life without hating everyone. You care, they care... just not enough to pursue this when it gets too complicated or time consuming. What's so wrong with that?!

Going through life without any Band-Aid friends or even refusing to make Band-Aid friends for fear of getting hurt is like asking to be miserable. It astounds me that some people don't seem to grasp the importance of this kind of relationship.

They are kind of like the lifeboats in relationships. Between two serious boyfriends, the Lifeboat Guy is the one who'll keep you entertained but you don't necessarily want to commit to. He's the guy who's cell phone number you keep just in case the new Relationship Potential Guy you're seeing doesn't quite work out. A safety net of sorts.

Tattoo Take Two

I've been giving more and more thought to getting a second tattoo lately. I don't know exactly what I want and where I want it but it's kinda itching at my creative self slowly.

My only criteria for tattoos is I have to draw/design/develop the idea of it. I don't want something copied from a book or something that anyone could have for any reason. I want each to be unique, to tell a story and I want the placement of it to mean something too, if at all possible.

I got my first tattoo almost 2 years ago. It's a black rose that I'd designed many years prior when Jf said he wanted to get a black rose tattoo. I came up with this design and although it was too feminine for him (*shock*) he really liked it. I was so hooked on it that I couldn't draw anything else for him so we kinda but that initiative on the back burner. When I decided I wanted a tattoo I just couldn't shake that rose out of my head. It took me about 4 months to find a parlor and an artist that I was comfortable with and right away, booked an appointment and made a deposit. The decision was made, no backing down now - just what I needed.

I went by myself. I'd asked Maggie if she could come with but she couldn't get out of work but I was cool with that. Turned out I was glad I went on my own. When the tattoo artist said he'd rarely seen people come in for their first tattoo on their own, I explained Js was away on course and the only other 2 people I'd bring with me couldn't make it... I realized, I may have to give birth on my own one day. (I am not, by any means, comparing a getting a tattoo to giving birth to a child.)

The rose came at a good time in my life, a time of change. It represents many many things to me, most of those things I'm not really able to talk about even to this day. It represents the good in my life, the progress and the special kind of understanding and trust I have with those I've kept close all my life.

The design is somewhat abstract and most people say "Do you mind if I ask you what your tattoo is?!" and I really don't. It's meant to confuse. It's on my back, shoulder blade height but closer to my right arm so it's not very visible. Sorta between my arm pit and my bra strap, to make it sound classy.

So what is my second tattoo going to be? Why do I want one now?
As I approach another time of change in my life, I feel the need to immortalize and honor my maiden name. I am going to be taking Js' last name and although I'm very happy about my decision, I can't help but feel a teeny twinge of nostalgia and ... sadness?

My definition of "family" is going to change, a lot. Over the last year I've learned to live away from my family, far far away. I've learned to be a part of the family unit in different ways and I've learned exactly how important family is to be.

As Js and I get married, my definition of family will never ever be the same again.

Until then, it's back to the drawing board for me...

All the best, friends!

Another milestone survived!

Last night, we said our good byes to some friends before they left for their new posting. It was a lot harder than I thought and I was really bummed out about it.

He was a great friend of Js and a great co-worker and his wife and I got along really really well. We admired their relationship a lot and she always had wise words for me when we first got here. We all agreed that it would have been awesome to get to know each other more and it would have been a great friendship, I'm sure.

It was a first time we had to say good bye to friends because they were leaving and we were staying behind. So far, we've always been the ones leaving. It was strange to see Js deal with the situation. Usually, we're saying good bye to each other, not to someone else. Seeing him hug his buddy good bye broke my heart in teeny little pieces. We left the boys to bond and shake hands like real men while us girls pretended not to want to cry.

I didn't think it would affect me that much because I've only known them a short period of time. I guess their departure came along with the realization that there would be many many more short friendships and long good byes for us. We really hope to keep in touch with them and meet again on a different posting... but as she would say "It's our life, right!?"

Girls night out

Friendship is a weird thing.

I got home this morning after a night of partying it up in Regina with some girlfriends for their birthdays and it was awesome!

We had a great time, rented a room, went to a comedy show thingy and danced the night away at a club. You know how long it's been since my last crazy night out on the town with the girls? January! We had some people over for drinks a couple of times and we went out a bunch of friends out here but never really just girls.

We spent a large chunk of our evening hanging out in the hotel room, getting ready, drinking and sharing stories about each of our crazy drunken adventures. It took me back to a couple of years ago (or that girl's night in January!) and it was great to laugh at myself and the stoooopid things I've done. Oh my!

Side Note :I'm kind of glad I didn't start blogging back then. This way, there's no record of anything and hopefully my brain lets me forget the most part before I have kids. Now, I can pick and choose the stories I want to blog about and immortalize on the pages of Blogger. Ha!

I miss my girlfriends from back home. I really like the girlfriends I've made out here, they're friggen awesome!

The thing about friendships when you're involved with the military lifestyle is you can't really say "Remember, when we were kids, we did this and that and the other thing!?" to just anyone because chances are, you just met them a couple of years or months ago. You'll come across some people you knew before or make friends that just stick around for longer... but the words "Me and her, we go way back!" don't really resonate with the same sense.

You have some friends who will stick around and travel to visit you no matter how boring your new town is. Those are the ones you hold closest to your heart and you nurture that relationship like your life depends on it. Those are the true friends and you know they'll be there through thick and thin. If they've been there this long, they support your relationship, your life style and most importantly, your choices. Not everyone can have that kind of connection though. Some friends will come and go and it's all in good fun. Eventually, you learn that loosing touch with a friend isn't a bad thing. It doesn't mean that you don't love them anymore or that you don't care, life is just like that!

Everyone around me comes from somewhere different. Some have known each other for a bit longer, some just got here but everyone is used to it. I'm making friends now and that's all that matters, as for how long we'll/they'll be here, no one really knows and that's the beauty of it.

Most of the time, you find yourself sharing stories about your past experiences and it's okay because that's what everybody does! As long as you're making new stories, you'll be fine!