I have this shirt that I love. It's from the "work out" line from GAP. *shows how white I am* It's so comfy and it's got thumb holes and I love it. I wore it a bit at the beginning of pregnancy because I refused to stop wearing it. Alas, belly got in the way and I had to stuff it in a drawer until we could be reunited once again.
I put it on this morning for the first time post pregnancy. I felt awesome! Look at me, fitting in my shirt again! It even fits better than before and look at m'tatas!
...and then my son puked on it.
Showing posts with label mother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mother. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Mother's Day musings
Mother's day has become for me a day I really wish stopped existing when my mother stopped existing. I mean, yes I still recognize that she was my mom and she loved me with every ounce of her being and she will never ever be replaced or forgotten. But having a whole day dedicated to this special and unique bond to have with one individual is very difficult when it's a constant reminder that this person isn't there anymore.
The last two years have been especially hard since becoming a mother myself was all I really wanted out of life but for some reason it just wouldn't happen. No one could explain to me why and reassure me with certainty that it would actually ever be.
So I stuck my head as deep in the sand as it would possibly go and counted down the hours for the day to be over. I woke up late, went to bed early, and tried to stay away from any sort of Hallmark store.
This year, my emotions are conflicted and I'm having a really hard time dealing with them... or at least understanding what I'm feeling.
I can feel the same dread creep on when people talk about their plans for Mother's day. I wish it wasn't there to remind me that my mother is not. It's a kind of loneliness that really doesn't get any resolve of any kind.
On the other hand, I'm happy to finally have been blessed with becoming a mom-to-be. An event I never thought I would get to celebrate... yet, I can't seem to because of this gray cloud hanging over my head. And that makes me feel so guilty.
Why can't I leave it aside and embrace the fact that my little ones are on their way? Why can't I truly appreciate their existence (and the fact that they are tap-dancing on my bladder has nothing to do with it)? I am so grateful to be where I'm at today and sit here as I get my innards punched and kicked and squeezed - why can't it be just that simple?
Mother's day is still a few weeks away and I hope I get some better grasp and understanding of my feelings by then. That I can enjoy the day for what it's worth to me now and maybe these babies will help me redefine this day into something new. Something magical I can't even being to understand right now... I have to give myself some time.
The last two years have been especially hard since becoming a mother myself was all I really wanted out of life but for some reason it just wouldn't happen. No one could explain to me why and reassure me with certainty that it would actually ever be.
So I stuck my head as deep in the sand as it would possibly go and counted down the hours for the day to be over. I woke up late, went to bed early, and tried to stay away from any sort of Hallmark store.
This year, my emotions are conflicted and I'm having a really hard time dealing with them... or at least understanding what I'm feeling.
I can feel the same dread creep on when people talk about their plans for Mother's day. I wish it wasn't there to remind me that my mother is not. It's a kind of loneliness that really doesn't get any resolve of any kind.
On the other hand, I'm happy to finally have been blessed with becoming a mom-to-be. An event I never thought I would get to celebrate... yet, I can't seem to because of this gray cloud hanging over my head. And that makes me feel so guilty.
Why can't I leave it aside and embrace the fact that my little ones are on their way? Why can't I truly appreciate their existence (and the fact that they are tap-dancing on my bladder has nothing to do with it)? I am so grateful to be where I'm at today and sit here as I get my innards punched and kicked and squeezed - why can't it be just that simple?
Mother's day is still a few weeks away and I hope I get some better grasp and understanding of my feelings by then. That I can enjoy the day for what it's worth to me now and maybe these babies will help me redefine this day into something new. Something magical I can't even being to understand right now... I have to give myself some time.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's day to all the proud moms out there!
Mother's day is not only a special day to take mom out for dinner but it's a special day when Moms can proudly show their Mom status without any reservation. I love this photo and I feel it represents well the type of mom-pride I'm talking about.
It's my mom and my best friend's mom, taking pictures of us caught on camera. Just look at their faces! You can tell right away that they are moms taking pictures of their kids... even though we were in our twenties. I'm pretty sure this same scenario played when we left for summer camp or on our high school graduation - actually I know it did.
Here's to moms all over the world, may you show your mom-pride to your hearts content today and every day of the year!
Spending mother's day 3000kms away from my mom is not ideal but we learn to make the most of it.
Last year, I created a little video to one of her favorite songs of a ton of family photos, pics of her and I and her and my dad. It was good for both of us because it allowed me to go down memory lane and hunt for all the best shots and also for her to show it off to all her friends because I posted it on YouTube for a short while. I had to remove it in case curious eyes lingered - there were photos in there of our wedding gown shopping adventures. I sent it to her on a CD she can watch in any DVD player or on any computer so needless to say, she's shown it to everyone.
This year, with a tighter budget than usual due to the wedding and my non-work-ness, I sent her a home made card and I'll be sending her flowers on Thursday with a little note to say that she's just as special any day of the week. :)
I'm lucky to have my mom!
It's my mom and my best friend's mom, taking pictures of us caught on camera. Just look at their faces! You can tell right away that they are moms taking pictures of their kids... even though we were in our twenties. I'm pretty sure this same scenario played when we left for summer camp or on our high school graduation - actually I know it did.Here's to moms all over the world, may you show your mom-pride to your hearts content today and every day of the year!
Spending mother's day 3000kms away from my mom is not ideal but we learn to make the most of it.
Last year, I created a little video to one of her favorite songs of a ton of family photos, pics of her and I and her and my dad. It was good for both of us because it allowed me to go down memory lane and hunt for all the best shots and also for her to show it off to all her friends because I posted it on YouTube for a short while. I had to remove it in case curious eyes lingered - there were photos in there of our wedding gown shopping adventures. I sent it to her on a CD she can watch in any DVD player or on any computer so needless to say, she's shown it to everyone.
This year, with a tighter budget than usual due to the wedding and my non-work-ness, I sent her a home made card and I'll be sending her flowers on Thursday with a little note to say that she's just as special any day of the week. :)
I'm lucky to have my mom!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wedding update : To veil or not to veil
Life is full of tough choices and normally, people try to make things simpler. I, on the other hand, seem to sadistically enjoy making things more complicated. Are you shocked? Didn't think so.
When it came time to pick out my wedding day attire, I knew I wanted an ivory dress, I knew I wanted something romantic (I won't post too many details in case curious eyes linger) and I didn't want anything too over the top. Cue in long shopping days, countless layers of tulle and a couple frazzled sales ladies - I finally found and picked the perfect gown.
As everyone around me sighed with relief, looming around the corner was a small sparkly bit of tulle full of hope. A veil.
The first thing I asked myself was if I really wanted one. Yes, I knew I wanted to wear something on my head. But what? I didn't want anything too long and poofy, I didn't want anything to cover my face and I didn't want anything that would get caught in a great aunt's brooch. Sounds simple, right?! Right!?
Well it's not.
My mom made a HUGE deal about me wearing a veil - in her own little guilt-tripping ways. I knew that if I didn't wear a veil at all, I'd really upset her. (Notice here how I say "I would upset her" instead of "it would upset her"... yes, she's that' good!)
The few sales ladies who were brave enough to catch me off guard and stick a veil on my head (their courage was quite impressive) in an attempt at getting me to cry or to say "That's the one!" under my breath were sourly disappointed. It just didn't do anything for me and sort of made me go "meh" at every veil I saw. Don't get me wrong, I think veils are super pretty and some of the detailing is just gorgeous. Just not on my head, for some strange reason.
I started looking at some alternatives and finally decided on something that works for everyone. It's a good compromise for my mom, she still gets to fiddle with it as much as her heart desires (or until my patience expires - whichever comes first). For me, it's got that not-too-traditional vibe to it and it's uber romantic so there. Voilà!
A bit of it had to do with the whole cover-your-face-until-he's-already-said-yes-in-case-he-wants-to-run-away-when-he-sees-you and a bit of it had to do with how they just felt silly on my head and not very "me".
There you have it, pretty much my entire attire is picked out now. I'm off to buy my shoes (!!) tomorrow and then I'll probably only need a couple extra things (oh, and I need some fancy-shmancy underthings) and we'll be good to go. Eeek!
When it came time to pick out my wedding day attire, I knew I wanted an ivory dress, I knew I wanted something romantic (I won't post too many details in case curious eyes linger) and I didn't want anything too over the top. Cue in long shopping days, countless layers of tulle and a couple frazzled sales ladies - I finally found and picked the perfect gown.
As everyone around me sighed with relief, looming around the corner was a small sparkly bit of tulle full of hope. A veil.
The first thing I asked myself was if I really wanted one. Yes, I knew I wanted to wear something on my head. But what? I didn't want anything too long and poofy, I didn't want anything to cover my face and I didn't want anything that would get caught in a great aunt's brooch. Sounds simple, right?! Right!?
Well it's not.
My mom made a HUGE deal about me wearing a veil - in her own little guilt-tripping ways. I knew that if I didn't wear a veil at all, I'd really upset her. (Notice here how I say "I would upset her" instead of "it would upset her"... yes, she's that' good!)
The few sales ladies who were brave enough to catch me off guard and stick a veil on my head (their courage was quite impressive) in an attempt at getting me to cry or to say "That's the one!" under my breath were sourly disappointed. It just didn't do anything for me and sort of made me go "meh" at every veil I saw. Don't get me wrong, I think veils are super pretty and some of the detailing is just gorgeous. Just not on my head, for some strange reason.
I started looking at some alternatives and finally decided on something that works for everyone. It's a good compromise for my mom, she still gets to fiddle with it as much as her heart desires (or until my patience expires - whichever comes first). For me, it's got that not-too-traditional vibe to it and it's uber romantic so there. Voilà!
A bit of it had to do with the whole cover-your-face-until-he's-already-said-yes-in-case-he-wants-to-run-away-when-he-sees-you and a bit of it had to do with how they just felt silly on my head and not very "me".
There you have it, pretty much my entire attire is picked out now. I'm off to buy my shoes (!!) tomorrow and then I'll probably only need a couple extra things (oh, and I need some fancy-shmancy underthings) and we'll be good to go. Eeek!
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