Hello Body - Nice to meet you!

I haven't always loved my body. Hell, I haven't always liked it even but I've been able to maintain it relatively healthy and able to work with what I've got. Since getting pregnant, I've discovered things about my body that I never expected to come out of it growing two extra little wee bodies.

During the first trimester of my pregnancy I lost a lot of weight for many different reasons. I was feeling really nauseous at the beginning and I didn't want to take medication for it until I had passed the 3 month mark. Why? I don't know. I kept telling myself it couldn't be that bad, that it was normal to feel this way in the first trimester. By week 13 I was literally begging my doctor to do something to make it all go away magically and instantaneously. Also, a very common side effects from all the medication I was taking for fertility treatments is weight gain. How much does it suck to know that a side effect from a medication you're taking to help you get pregnant can actually reduce your chances getting pregnant? A lot.

In the long run, I lost over 13lbs in my first trimester. I was monitored every few weeks by my doctor but he wasn't worried because of all the reasons mentioned above. Plus, I already had some extra cushion for the pushin' so it's no like my or the babies' health were in danger.

Now, I'm in my second trimester and though my appetite is a little bit better I'm still not pilling on the pounds as the books say. I was a bit worried but I figure as long as I'm eating and keeping it down - nutrients are being absorbed and my babies are growing. Right?

I'm enjoying this whole "getting to know my body all over again" thing. It's not an advantage I expected from pregnancy. So many women hate their bodies while they are pregnant - they feel like it's not their own or like it's getting destroyed by the baby. So far, I'm really enjoying this new experience and appreciation of everything my body does for me when I'm not looking.

Our Infertiliy Adventures - Comments



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For those of you who know me personally or who've been reading this blog for quite some time, you are probably wondering why anyone would ask me stupid questions knowing full well that a dry, sarcastic and probably very rude response is inevitable.

Here are my personal top choices:

"How come you guys don't have kids?"
SHIT HONEY! WE FORGOT THE KIDS IN THE CAR!

"So, no kids yet?"
No, we prefer to eat small children. We've had a couple... but... you  know..

"So, when are you guys going to start popping out kids?"
Well it does sound like a grand old time when you put it that way. 

The thing is, we can't blame people who don't know about our situation for asking these questions. How could they know, right? What irks me is when people we've known for a long time who are fully aware that we want children still ask us this question.

"Is it you or him that's the problem?"
Actually we both have a problem with people asking stupid questions.
or
Problem?! Thanks, I feel much better.
"Just relax."
 ... *slap*

"It'll work eventually."
I've been telling myself that for the last-three-fucking-years.

"Oh, just ride a bike backwards/do it in the shower/eat a pear/flap your ears, it worked for me!"
Well spank my ass and call me Nancy! I've been going through all these very uncomfortable medical procedures but really all I needed to do was toss a coin in a fountain at the mall?! Why aren't we there RIGHT NOW?!

"So, like, how is it not working?"
I don't know... on the topic of genitalia, did you take care of that rash?
Seriously, dude, don't ask me about the inner workings of my uterus in front of people. That's just fucking rude.

Our Infertility Adventures - Volume 2

The results are in and everything looks in order... except for one thing. It's kind of odd but that's what we were hoping for. The fact that this test came back negative means that we can get some help and get things moving... instead of going further down the "testing" road. Also, it means that we know what the problem is and it's a relatively easy fix - the best outcome we could hope for considering.

So right now we are looking at a few more weeks of medication, monitoring and daily testing of how I'm responding to the treatment. Until then, Js has to put up with my pretty intense PMS outbursts of bitchyness and hormotional fits.

It's encouraging because things are moving along at a nice pace and the faint light at the end of the tunnel (no disgusting pun intended) is finally looking a little brighter.

Just another quick update until we have more exciting (read: relevant!) news to share. :)

Our Infertility Adventures - Volume 1

We're finally done working through the first phase of pokes and prods to be on our way to figuring out what's wrong with this sad south of mine. It sucked but it's a huge relief knowing it's done and things are moving forward. I'm seeing my specialist doctor in two weeks to get all the results and see if we can move on to phase two or if we go straight to jail - do not pass go, do not collect 200$.

In any case, either way this goes just means more pokes and prods for me.

Coming out of the Infertility Closet

There you have it. The cause for this blog-funk I've been stuck in over the last several months. I guess I was always hoping things would work out and I'd never have to bore anyone with my pitty-party posts.

Then, the new year came around and I realized how much I missed blogging and how much self-awareness it gave me. I decided I would just climb out of this whole and get back into the routine that used to bring me such comfort. For that, I need to wipe the slate clean and "come out of the closet" if you will.

I'm not entirely ready to post about it just yet and to go into much detail but I'll say this; it's been nearly three years since we started trying and I've been poked and prodded more than I care to remember over the last six months. We're still in the testing phase to see what's not working and why before we start fixing the broken pieces... if it's at all possible. So we know something's broken, just don't know what yet. But 97% of chances are that it's my biscuit that's busted. That's all we know so far...

So here's to 2012... to getting back to the old habits of positive and constructive posts. :)