Thegloss.com - Why men irritate me (and Nick)

Nick posted this to my Facebook wall a short bit ago and I thought it was quite ... ... ... interesting.

Source : Thegloss.com

Thegloss.com - Why I'd Be Offended If a Woman Didn't Take My Last Name

Snippet for your thoughts :

"Call me old fashioned. Call me traditional. Call me chauvinistic. Call me whatever you will, but don’t emasculate me. Leave my manliness in tact.

I do understand that for centuries women have struggled in a patriarchal society and that the last name is one of the final fronts. But please understand our plight. This isn’t about establishing a hierarchy in the relationship or taking possession of you. As deeply rooted as it is in our societal traditions, it is even more so in the man’s bible. It is a privilege for a man to take a woman’s hand in marriage, and an even greater honor of offering our family name as a token of our undying devotion. Arguably more so than a ring.

If you’re going to nag us about wearing our band during pick-up games and not leaving it by the bathroom sink after we wash our hands, then please remember to take our surname with you on your girls’ night out."

Source : Thegloss.com

My first instinct was to feel frustrated but the more I think about it, I pity the fool. How sad to feel the need to, like a little puppy, pee in every corner because it's his only way for him to keep what's "his". I hope you enjoy the single life, pal!

Here are more thoughts on last-name-changing practices I've blogged about in the past :

• Offbeat Bride - How are you judged for your last name choice?
• My decision making process - A rose by any other name...
• I also blogged about my decision to get a tattoo to reflect my maiden name and then flashed some newly inked skin.

Thoughts?

Offbeat Bride - How are you judged for your last name choice?

An interesting post I read today on OffbeatBride.com about changing your name when you get married vs keeping your maiden name. Some folks at a Dutch university published a paper showing that women who took their husband's last names were less likely to be hired for jobs, and made significantly less money.

As Ariel puts it :

The shifts and trends in last names over the last 40 year have coincided with significant cultural shifts in women's societal roles, so I think it's understandable that people would use the heavily politicized issue of last names as an indicator. I don't think these assumptions are accurate, of course. But it seems reasonable to me that in the shifting cultural landscape of gender roles, people will cling to whatever clues they can get when making judgments.

I've blogged about my decision to take Js' name before and even though I think the results to the study are total bullcrap (not the study itself, I just think what the results show about society sucks balls.) I think the post by Ariel is very interesting including comments from someone who's read the entire study.

Thoughts?

Wedding Stuff : A rose by any other name...

I'm very very far from being a rose but at least, in today's society, I can chose what my name is going to be. The choice is mine, rightfully so. This great post on Off Beat Bride (one of my favest websites evar!!) talks about just that.

Long, long time ago I asked myself if I was going to take my future husband's last name. I had to consider the pros and cons and really think about what it meant to me. The thoughts were triggered by an article I read in Bitch Mag about what feminism meant now vs. 10 years ago.

Mind you, I never would have dared to imagine I was going to marry Js back then. He was still an old friend from high school I'd lost touch with.

I had decided back then that I wouldn't be against changing my name and I wouldn't be against keeping my maiden name - all depending on if he'd be willing to change it too. If I know he'd change his name if the roles were reversed, then I would change it. If I know he'd be opposed to the idea, tough cookies, I'm stickin' to my guns.

Enters Js, this crazy life and everything in between.

When he proposed, I revised my name-changing thoughts and realized that they were still the same. I brought up the topic in regular conversation to test the waters. I wanted to know if he'd change his name for me, what his thoughts were and to see if it would change/alter my views on the whole deal. It didn't. I still felt the same about it and realized then and there that I had some thinkin' to do.

One night, Js was back in Moose Jaw and I was all by my lonesome (with Jack) at our old place in Ottawa and as I went to bed, I looked at our picture I keep on the nightstand when he's away (same photo he had when he was in Basic and we both have a framed copy we keep for such times - cheesy, I know!) and just knew...

I will change my last name to his when we get married this summer.

The last name I mocked so much in high school will be mine and I guess you can almost call that karma.

I'm changing it because I know he'd take my name if the roles were reversed. I'm changing it because I love and respect his family and am proud to be a part of it. I love and respect my family too and I'm blessed to be a part of it - it's so much more than a name. My family is who I am, in the way I do things, in everything that I know. Family is more than a name.

Yes, I'm changing my name. Call me unfeminist. If you define being unfeminist as not giving in to the social pressure and knowing who you are as a person and a woman while making your way through life, then I guess that's what I am.