Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Excuse me, where's your tofu?

For some obscure reason, Js and I decided to do our shopping at Sobeys this week... and man what an epic fail!

Deli-dude: Can I help you?
Me: Yes, I'm looking for tofu.
Deli-dude: Uh... what?
Me: Tofu. I can't seem to find any...
Deli-dude: Hum... let me get you someone who can help.

Someone-who-can't-help: You're looking for what...? Tofu?
Me: Yes.
Someone-who-can't-help: Wow... hum... hold on.

After a quick inspection of the sausage display, dairy and the cheese section (!!), Someone-who-can't-help decided to go looking for a manager. I hang around and wait while Js goes looking in the produce section.

Someone-who-can't-help: You're looking for tofu, right?
Me: Yes. It's white, normally comes in a brick like cheese.
Someone-who-can't-help: Micheal said to look in produce.

I followed Someone-who-can't-help to the produce section. She stared at the peppers and mushrooms for a solid minute.

Someone-who-can't-help: I don't think we have any...
Me: Well there's ground-round there but I need the plain tofu.
Someone-who-can't-help: Ground what?
Me: Ground round. *picks up package*
Someone-who-can't-help: Oh. Well... I can't see any, but I have seen some at other stores. Have you tried Bulk Barn or Superstore.
Less-and-less-patient-me: It's not rare. I know I can go buy it somewhere else, my goal here is not to.

This would be totally normal if we were at a little mom-and-pop grocery ... but really Sobeys? And not only that, but from the staff reaction (read: repulsion) I'm pretty sure it wasn't just sold out temporarily.

They also didn't have any kind of dairy-free coffee-creamer-type-deal. However, there were three fridges full of flavored creamer. We promptly gave up on finding the rest of our items and headed to the till...

Cashier-n00b: Did you find everything you were looking for?
Js: Nope.
Cashier-n00b: *blank-stare-of-fear-and-confusion*
Js: Never mind. Yes, yes we found everything.

Then we got to the produce on the little scale and all the confusing numbers and codes. I'd like to start by saying that I totally admire cashiers who know every single code. Their minds have clearly evolved to a higher state of knowledge and awareness... Cashier-n00b, however has not.

Cashier-n00b: Do you know what this is?
Js: A red onion.
Cashier-n00b: And this?
Js: Cilantro.
Cashier-n00b: ... hum... and this?
Js: LIMES! They're limes.

At this point, I give up on trying to hide my face and I have to turn around to wipe the laughter tears rolling down my face. Are you serious?! I get you probably don't know the code but have you never seen a lime before?

Cashier-n00b: Will that be debit?
Js: No, credit.
Cashier-n00b: Ok.
Js: It says "card not supported".
Cashier-n00b: Oh, try again.
Js: Still nuthin'.
Cashier-n00b: Is that debit?
Js: No. No. It's credit.
Cashier-n00b: Oh. It's a different button. There try again.
Js: But that's what I... you asked... *facepalm*


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