Who does that?!

Actual conversation at the store today:


Me: Hum, excuse me - I had some clothes in a change room and now they are just gone... did you move them?
Mistake-immune-lady: Oh, I thought you were done so I put everything back.
Me: So you just assumed I had put everything back on the proper hanger and square folded the jeans...?

Mistake-immune-lady: Yes, it happens all the time.

Me: Right.

Mistake-immune-lady: You can just go around the store and find your things, they are probably just on top of the pile.

Me: Well at least your customers take more care in facing clothes than you do...

 

**I really wanted to try on some stuff so I actually went back and found most of it... also to be able to have this conversation as I left.

 

Mistake-immune-lady: You found what you were looking for?

Me: Yes, and I left everything else on the floor like a normal person.

 

 

Excuse me, where's your tofu?

For some obscure reason, Js and I decided to do our shopping at Sobeys this week... and man what an epic fail!

Deli-dude: Can I help you?
Me: Yes, I'm looking for tofu.
Deli-dude: Uh... what?
Me: Tofu. I can't seem to find any...
Deli-dude: Hum... let me get you someone who can help.

Someone-who-can't-help: You're looking for what...? Tofu?
Me: Yes.
Someone-who-can't-help: Wow... hum... hold on.

After a quick inspection of the sausage display, dairy and the cheese section (!!), Someone-who-can't-help decided to go looking for a manager. I hang around and wait while Js goes looking in the produce section.

Someone-who-can't-help: You're looking for tofu, right?
Me: Yes. It's white, normally comes in a brick like cheese.
Someone-who-can't-help: Micheal said to look in produce.

I followed Someone-who-can't-help to the produce section. She stared at the peppers and mushrooms for a solid minute.

Someone-who-can't-help: I don't think we have any...
Me: Well there's ground-round there but I need the plain tofu.
Someone-who-can't-help: Ground what?
Me: Ground round. *picks up package*
Someone-who-can't-help: Oh. Well... I can't see any, but I have seen some at other stores. Have you tried Bulk Barn or Superstore.
Less-and-less-patient-me: It's not rare. I know I can go buy it somewhere else, my goal here is not to.

This would be totally normal if we were at a little mom-and-pop grocery ... but really Sobeys? And not only that, but from the staff reaction (read: repulsion) I'm pretty sure it wasn't just sold out temporarily.

They also didn't have any kind of dairy-free coffee-creamer-type-deal. However, there were three fridges full of flavored creamer. We promptly gave up on finding the rest of our items and headed to the till...

Cashier-n00b: Did you find everything you were looking for?
Js: Nope.
Cashier-n00b: *blank-stare-of-fear-and-confusion*
Js: Never mind. Yes, yes we found everything.

Then we got to the produce on the little scale and all the confusing numbers and codes. I'd like to start by saying that I totally admire cashiers who know every single code. Their minds have clearly evolved to a higher state of knowledge and awareness... Cashier-n00b, however has not.

Cashier-n00b: Do you know what this is?
Js: A red onion.
Cashier-n00b: And this?
Js: Cilantro.
Cashier-n00b: ... hum... and this?
Js: LIMES! They're limes.

At this point, I give up on trying to hide my face and I have to turn around to wipe the laughter tears rolling down my face. Are you serious?! I get you probably don't know the code but have you never seen a lime before?

Cashier-n00b: Will that be debit?
Js: No, credit.
Cashier-n00b: Ok.
Js: It says "card not supported".
Cashier-n00b: Oh, try again.
Js: Still nuthin'.
Cashier-n00b: Is that debit?
Js: No. No. It's credit.
Cashier-n00b: Oh. It's a different button. There try again.
Js: But that's what I... you asked... *facepalm*

Our Infertiliy Adventures - Comments



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For those of you who know me personally or who've been reading this blog for quite some time, you are probably wondering why anyone would ask me stupid questions knowing full well that a dry, sarcastic and probably very rude response is inevitable.

Here are my personal top choices:

"How come you guys don't have kids?"
SHIT HONEY! WE FORGOT THE KIDS IN THE CAR!

"So, no kids yet?"
No, we prefer to eat small children. We've had a couple... but... you  know..

"So, when are you guys going to start popping out kids?"
Well it does sound like a grand old time when you put it that way. 

The thing is, we can't blame people who don't know about our situation for asking these questions. How could they know, right? What irks me is when people we've known for a long time who are fully aware that we want children still ask us this question.

"Is it you or him that's the problem?"
Actually we both have a problem with people asking stupid questions.
or
Problem?! Thanks, I feel much better.
"Just relax."
 ... *slap*

"It'll work eventually."
I've been telling myself that for the last-three-fucking-years.

"Oh, just ride a bike backwards/do it in the shower/eat a pear/flap your ears, it worked for me!"
Well spank my ass and call me Nancy! I've been going through all these very uncomfortable medical procedures but really all I needed to do was toss a coin in a fountain at the mall?! Why aren't we there RIGHT NOW?!

"So, like, how is it not working?"
I don't know... on the topic of genitalia, did you take care of that rash?
Seriously, dude, don't ask me about the inner workings of my uterus in front of people. That's just fucking rude.

Take your unsolvable problem and stuff it.

I'm so annoyed right now.

You know the kind of conversation that you think is going to be super easy and simple. When you give the other person who asked you a simple question a simple tool to help them find the answer they are looking for out of the goodness of your heart... and then the person's attitude is so negative and they are so dedicated to not solve their problem that you want to grab them by the hair and bang their heads into the wall?

"I am looking for a solution to this problem."
"Here's an idea that might solve your problem."
"That doesn't quite do it you see..."
"Oh, well then maybe this solution here could work."
"No it doesn't because the sky is blue."
"I didn't realize that affected the outcome. Perhaps try this..?"
"I've already tried this for two seconds five years ago with a very bad attitude and it failed..."
"Well here's the next obvious solution."
"The grass is green so it's not going to work."
"FUCK YOU!"
 *rage-quit*

Because you can't deal with the idea of not having something to complain about doesn't mean I have to put up with your bullshit.

The heat is (back) on!

So, we're totally brilliant. Before we left for Ontario and sent all the deposits off for the wedding stuff, we figured we'd put a couple extra bucks towards our utility bills so that we wouldn't be stuck out of money when we came back and it would save us some stress. Wrong.

It appears that we (I) paid one bill twice instead of putting an even amount on both our  power and gas bills. So we got back from the wedding and didn't really feel like going through the gigantic pile of mail that awaited. Plus, we have an equalized payment plan thing (or whatever it's called) so we know how much our bills will be and when they are due. No worries - la-dee-effing-dah.

Friday morning comes around - no hot water in the morning. My neighbor who's husband is away right now asked me to go over before going to work to watch her little baby while she showers. I figure I'll just go a bit early, shower there and ask Js to call CFHA this afternoon. It bugged me all day... what the shit could have possibly broken our hot water heater? It's really odd... Unless...? As soon as I get home, I rummage through the pile of mail and find three letters from the gas company notifying us that our account was past due. Damn it - damn it to hell!

Upon further online research, I find confirmation that :
A) I paid the wrong account.
B) They don't do reconnections over the weekend.
C) It's going to be minus one million degrees on Saturday night and Js is gone camping until Sunday.

Fail.

We got things figured out this morning and they were able to reconnect us on the same day. We're still out a couple hundred bucks but at least we won't have to worry about our electricity bill until next month. I think it's totally assbackwards NOT to call people or email or something. Please note I am aware that it's also assbackwards to pay the wrong bill. No need to rub it in.

We showered at our neighbor's house and wore hoodies feeling like total white trash all weekend. Ugh. Is that what they call married bliss?

PS: Also note that it's  August 31st and yes, our heat is on.

I hate Mondays!

... and I'm slowly building a solid foundation of hate towards Sundays. I used to LOVE Sundays because I'd usually have the day off, I'd go shopping with Jf or just sloth around the apartment doing absolutely nothing at all.

This past Sunday, I spent the entire day in a sort of trans repeating to myself "Gotta go back to work tomorrow..." and wanting to hurl projectile vomit across the living room. Pretty picture, ain't it?

My hate for Mondays has bled into Sundays and it's only a matter of days until it reaches to Saturday and all hell breaks loose.

I'm seriously considering new career venues but I'm quite limited out here so I'm facing some difficulties - to say the least. I have to make a decision and I have to think about the different outcomes and possible solutions.

More on that later, my lunch break is almost over. Ugh.

Ban krupty.

I seriously think I'm going nuts. Crazy. Loony. Wackadoo. Bonkers.

I hate it when I'm convinced of something and then someone tells me otherwise like it's a well known fact. *arg!* Like when people tell you the sky is blue your whole life and then wake up one morning and decide to screw with your brain and start telling you it's red and look at you like you must be deranged or something thinking the damn thing was blue... Am I the only one who ever feels like that!?

I remember having conversations, vivid images carved into my brain... and now it appears it was all a dream or someone's been sneaking some pretty amazing crack in my drinks. (Maybe living in Vanier does have it's perks!) I seriously don't know what's wrong and I'm so annoyed. I feel dumb. There's not a worst feeling in the world for me. I know I'm a goof sometimes and I say some pretty lame things and come up with some pretty ("You see that bar there...") stoopid ideas... but I like to think that underneath it all, lies a person with a considerable dose of intelligence and wisdom, somewhat. The feeling of that teeny-person being on some kind of very very strong substance (or as Chris likes to call them : "Fucked up shit") makes me kinda nervous...

I can't think. I can't focus. I can't talk to my mom on the phone without growing very impatient (even more so than usual!) and I'm even growing annoyed at the noise of the clickity-click of the keys...

Elections are happening and it's 207 for Obama and 135 for McCain (juice box!) and I'm PMSing like it's going out of style.