Rock, Paper, Twins - I win.

So my husband and I went out for a late lunch yesterday with the twinslets and his co-worker's girlfriend was our server and when the restaurant quieted down, she came to chat with us. She was complaining that she was tired and overworked to which my husband, equipped with his best most tiny-teeniest most saddest violin said "Rock, Paper, Twins. You lose." and I shit you not, she said "No. Seriously, guys you can't be more tired than I am. You have no idea. I've been here since 7 am this morning." Note that it was 3pm-ish at this point. I didn't say anything because I probably would have gotten arrested but my husband replied "Exactly, before 7am, you were sleeping peacefully and once your shift is done you get to go home and stop doing whatever it is that makes you tired." My answer would have been something closer to "Betch I'mma cut you!" alas, I had to play nice. She wouldn't let up so just so she would leave we called it even.

But she wasn't done pissing me off for the day, no sir! Betch came back and went on and on about how twins run in her family and bla-bla-bli-bla-shut-your-whore-mouth and said "I'm not looking forward to having twins." (like it's a sure deal) and I, quite proudly, replied "Well don't worry, it won't be as bad as working since 7 am." Are you for fucking real?

Anyways, lessons learned: