A lot of things in life are hard. Like rocks or the table's leg against my pinky toe.
I consider myself a pretty strong person. I have my moments of weakness but overall I keep a strong face and cry in the shower like everyone else.
This past week's been quite testing. With my Mom at the hospital, I've had to face some very unexpected situations and put on my game face for the rest of the world. Yes, I know I'm allowed to be sad and upset and fed up. Yes, yes I know.
Today, I added a couple notches to my strength belt. My Mom being drugged up and unable to string two or three words together, my Dad and I had to answer the Doctor's questions when it came to her wishes as far as efforts to keep her alive should anything happen while in ICU. To look a total stranger straight in the face and share something so intimate, so devastating.
It's scratching away at the very last and very thin layer of denial that I have left. Exposing the wound in all it's magnitude and pouring in the salt.
and it's only the beginning.
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2 comments:
Wow, M. I've been thinking about you. Odd, I know, coming from a stranger, but I'm also incredibly close with my family. And I live in another province from them, too. And I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. Know that you're in my thoughts.
You know I love you and I'm always here for support. Anytime you need a chat, you know my number and email, and I'm always around! You're mother has to be an incredible person to have such a strong, amazing daughter. I wish the best for you all! You're absolutely in my thoughts, love!
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