Sunday, June 13, 2010

Baby Talk

As we count down to the wedding, we realize that we're also counting down to the never ending "So, when are you guys going to start popping out babies?" song.

We had the conversation when we started dating, then again when Js proposed and we started planning the wedding, then again when we moved to Moose Jaw together, then again recently. Every single time, we came to a different conclusion. I think that's a good thing. It means we're growing together, our priorities are shifting which is the normal course of things.

I'm not going to start on here about our decision and what direction we're going on the baby department right yet. We're all for discussing it together but not really to the point of discussing it with everyone else.

A post by Janny at Small Town Gal in the City about babies and decisions made me think.

We're at that point in our 'married relationship' where the honeymoon phase is over. We've been married a year (and 4 months), and we've sort of settled down [...], so everyone seems to be expecting it, which prompts us to talk about and wonder: are we actually ready for this?


It's true that things sort of have a pattern of happening, once you get married, it's like you automatically hop onto the 'baby making wagon' (ew!) but what if you're not ready? You just make a life long commitment to love another person with every ounce of your being... why the rush to make another one? Why don't people encourage you to just spend more time loving each other while you still can.

Sadly, a lot of people think that once you get married, you can stop trying and your relationship will be all smooth sailing. Wrong. All the efforts you used to make before you got married, you gotta keep at 'em! Getting married is not like winning the relationship lotto - it's more like graduating. Sure, the college years are over and it's great but now you have to face the real world. The real world does not need to include babies.

When we think about having babies, we don't want to consider only what kind of life we can offer to a child but also, what having a baby would bring to our life. We want to build a family on love and on solid values - we need to know who we are and each other inside and out before we can do that. Would having a kid torpedo us into that growth? Yes. Are we ready for that wild ride yet, who knows!? ... ;)

2 comments:

Unknown said...

It's been interesting talking to the (older) women I've worked with at previous jobs and how children impacted their relationships or how their relationship impacted their child rearing.
I'm curious to read more of your own musings on the subject, since it will be a perspective that I never intend to share.

Janny A. said...

Marie, I love you. If you weren't engaged, and me married, I would propose to you (although I'm sure Maggie's thought the same thing at some point ;) ). But YES!!! Agree completely.
(and slight mini, giddy, happy dance at being quoted! WOOT! :D)

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