Back to reality.

Oy! Getting back to work after three whole weeks of doing next to nothing was pretty exhausting today. Before the holidays I finished up with my first contract with this employer (covering a maternity leave) and went in for three half days between Christmas and New Year's to do my part, today I started a new contract which takes me well into September as far as secure employment goes. It was kind of odd starting a "new" job that I kinda sorta already did, in a place where I knew everyone and didn't have to ask where I put my lunch bag or where the bathrooms are. I'm super grateful for having the opportunity to keep working there and I really hope to get something permanent by the end of this to keep my employee status and have transfer options when/if we ever do get posted outta here. I don't even want to get started on posting options/possibilities/odds right now... ugh.

Friends invited us over for dinner after work and it was nice to spend some time with them and their kids and just hang. On the not-topic of postings... I will cry every tear in my body when they get posted out. Seriously. We knew them both individually before they even met each other... and here they are, three years and two kids later... they're part of our Moose Jaw Fam.

Three more of my very close friends are getting posted out this summer. Again, just to be clear... we're totally not talking about postings. It's going to be a very long and sobby summer for this gal, me thinks. Don't get me wrong, I'm super thrilled for them that their husbands are finally done their training and they can move on to a more permanent and more family (vs career) oriented posting but there's a wee part of me that's a tad selfish and kinda wish I could keep them here with me forever.

The transient nature of our lifestyle sorta struck me today when I over heard someone say, with a distinct French accent, that they were new here and were looking for info for something... I literally RAN over and yelled "Don't go anywhere! I need to talk to you!" in hopes of introducing myself and offering help if they needed anything to get settled. As I ran towards her, my desperate little mind went "Way to look like a loser." but she seemed SO happy to talk and so relieved that I approached her, my more reserved self immediately forgave my insane self for looking like a complete tool.

It made me realize that we're always loosing friends but they make room for the new ones. And when we're the ones moving, we leave some behind to go meet total strangers. We'll have at least one thing in common and that's a good enough place to start when you're all alone...

Coming out of the Infertility Closet

There you have it. The cause for this blog-funk I've been stuck in over the last several months. I guess I was always hoping things would work out and I'd never have to bore anyone with my pitty-party posts.

Then, the new year came around and I realized how much I missed blogging and how much self-awareness it gave me. I decided I would just climb out of this whole and get back into the routine that used to bring me such comfort. For that, I need to wipe the slate clean and "come out of the closet" if you will.

I'm not entirely ready to post about it just yet and to go into much detail but I'll say this; it's been nearly three years since we started trying and I've been poked and prodded more than I care to remember over the last six months. We're still in the testing phase to see what's not working and why before we start fixing the broken pieces... if it's at all possible. So we know something's broken, just don't know what yet. But 97% of chances are that it's my biscuit that's busted. That's all we know so far...

So here's to 2012... to getting back to the old habits of positive and constructive posts. :)

Merry Christmas!

From our family to yours! 

It's not perfect, but it's as good as we could manage with a timer and two very confused pets.

My Luck with Lactose

Back home, we have this amazing cheese factory called Fromagerie St-Albert - it's the freshest cheese money can buy in the Ottawa area and it's amazing. Squeeky cheese, fresh cheddar and anything you can think of that has to do with delicious cheese.

When visiting family back home, we like to stock up on it and if we can, bring some back to Saskatchewan for friends to enjoy. It's a real treat we like to offer to who ever is taking care of house and cat during our absence.

After years (totally serious) of begging the Bulk Cheese Warehouse store owner here in town - yes, that's the actual name - to bring in this product, we haven't come to any sort of reasonable understanding. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw St-Albert product sitting on a shelf along with all the lesser cheeses at the mega Walmart store in Regina last weekend. I didn't believe my wee eyes at first. It wasn't until I noticed weird stares from fellow shoppers that I realized I was chanting and dancing, brick of cheddar cheese in hand.

Then, suddenly, like clouds rolling in and raining on my (literal) parade, I could hear my doctor's voice, resounding in my ears: You're lactose intolerant.

That's right, ladies and gents - I've become lactose intolerant over the last little while and not being faced with St-Albert cheese weekly at the grocery store, I had not realized the implication and dramatic impact this would have on my life.

I promise to blog about my progress in therapy.

Bullies or Bullied?

First off, I guess I should start by saying that I was never in the cool crowd at school - far from it even - I've always been a dork and a nerd and a tad on the loser side of the school cafeteria. This kid wasn't popular. Not even a bit. Also, I'd like to point out that the comments below are a simple observation and reflect the few thoughts that just sparked from my brain.

With recent events linked to bullying in schools and such, there's been a huge trend on bullying and how it can/should be stopped. Social media took this one and ran with it to the ends of the earth and if it can change the life of just one kid - then it's all worth it. It's attracting attention to an aspect of youth social interactions that were most often cast aside as "just girls being girls" and "little boys learning to man up" scenarios.

One side of the debate going on in my head right now is whether the "bully" or the "bullied" should be targeted in all those efforts? Or both? Reach out to a bullied kid - you'll change the life of one, maybe inspire a few more to speak out. Change the bully's attitude and you'll reach out to the dozen kids they'll torment for years and years... Yes, it's important to reach out to the poor kids being intimidated into submission by their peers but something needs to be said for sitting the bullies down and giving them a stern lesson on how the world (is supposed to) function. If they don't care - they should.

Yes, it's chilling when we look at the stats and even more so when we consider how many kids have harmed themselves because of this epidemic... but are we trying to reinvent the wheel?

As adults, I'm sure we can all say we've witnessed bullying or intimidation in our workplaces or social circles. I'm sure these people didn't wake up mid-adulthood and decide to convert into fire breathing dragons. Those are the kids who were mean to other kids at school. This phenomenon is nothing new, by any extent. Why all the hoopla now? Because social media makes it visible to everyone and socially responsible people feel compelled to do something? Was it not obvious before the Facebook era? Com'on. What about all those kids, now adults, who suffered in silence?

I guess it kind of frustrates me to witness what our society has come to. Why do we need this much fluff? I know that today's kids are a very peculiar generation but what are we teaching them? We need to seriously look at the tools we've given those kids (I'm not talking about Social Media tools - more like character and values) for them to be able to fend for themselves as past generations? Most importantly, I think, what kind of morals and ethics does today's bully have and where did they learn that from?

I think my main concern here is; when we do have children and they grow up to be teenagers, that they'll feel they can come to their parents when they are being mugged daily at school rather than post a sad Facebook status as a cry for help. Why does that seem to be so hard to establish? I hope we're aware enough as parents and involved in our kids lives to see these behaviors and foster a communicative environment within the home. I'm sure it's easier said than done. But one can hope...

I has a happy!

These last few weeks have been INSANE with crazyness. Happy crazy - but crazy nonetheless.

To top it ALL, I got a wonderful phone call this morning from Maggie to announce the birth of her first child! I'M AN AUNTIE! Yes, ladies and gents, I'm an aunty to the most amazing little bundle of joy that ever lived.

Take your unsolvable problem and stuff it.

I'm so annoyed right now.

You know the kind of conversation that you think is going to be super easy and simple. When you give the other person who asked you a simple question a simple tool to help them find the answer they are looking for out of the goodness of your heart... and then the person's attitude is so negative and they are so dedicated to not solve their problem that you want to grab them by the hair and bang their heads into the wall?

"I am looking for a solution to this problem."
"Here's an idea that might solve your problem."
"That doesn't quite do it you see..."
"Oh, well then maybe this solution here could work."
"No it doesn't because the sky is blue."
"I didn't realize that affected the outcome. Perhaps try this..?"
"I've already tried this for two seconds five years ago with a very bad attitude and it failed..."
"Well here's the next obvious solution."
"The grass is green so it's not going to work."
"FUCK YOU!"
 *rage-quit*

Because you can't deal with the idea of not having something to complain about doesn't mean I have to put up with your bullshit.