Understanding the limits.

Comics turn my brain to mush. There was something I really wanted to blog about and got side tracked by some comics... and I lost my train of thought. Arg!

Today was a long and painful day back to work. Legs are in intense pain and I fear having to go for some more tests, needles and pain. I've been doing some stretching exercises for a month now and I'm not seeing any improvements. Arg! Oh well... The Holidays are almost here and I won't have time for the pain!

*deep thought*

Chit chatting with a fellow MG tonight (convo did not even have anything to do with the question I'm about to ask) got me thinking... Do we, as MGs, put up with a crap load more from our men just because they are in the military? Let me explain.

Our men are a very special kind. Their jobs (read : lifestyle) is very demanding and they are always under some sort of stress or pressure. They are often sent away from home for long periods of time to undergo some intense training, work some insanely long and exhausting hours or are living in extreme conditions under extreme circumstances. Clearly, it's not always a bouquet of roses for them... or for us.

We support them as best we know how, put our lives on hold (!!) and completely change our lifestyle and even sometimes our hopes and dreams to support their careers. It's a huge commitment and especially for MGs who have no status according to the military and no recognition as a spouse, there ain't much in it for them more than a warm set of arms to cuddle in.

As we try to support them, we try to be understanding and maybe we let a couple of things slide under the radar more often than we would in a civilian (civi) relationship. I don't think I'd put up with a boyfriend who forgot my birthday or our anniversary because things got hectic at the office... but if he was busy that day, somewhere in the desert doing something he's not even allowed to tell you about for your own safety... you tend to be a little bit more forgiving and a little bit more lenient. (Thanks Nick! *sip*)

I mean, not that J's tried any of that on me... he's been good so far with important dates and keeping track of things... :o) *fills with love*

The above is a bit to the extreme... and it's hard to write this without making it seem like I'm pointing at someone : I'm not. I just started wondering about some women (or men) who end up putting up with alot more crap because of their significant other's occupation... Doctors, lawyers, anyone, not just military! There's a limit at being understanding and supportive and being the perfect spouse.

I think talking it out and having your expectations clearly laid out is really important. Wether it's a code word that means "you're going over board" or a simple rule like : You have the first 10 minutes when you get home from work to vent, rant and bitch about your day, then leave it at the door and move on. I'm sure each couple has their own little way of doing it... it's just important not to leave to many gray areas if you ask me.

It's the same for them. Our men are far away and they call us because they want to hear our sweet voice, they miss home and they are looking forward to unwind and talk to someone who dosen't out-rank them. Cue the bitching about our day, PMSing, car problems, family issues... I could go on! They have to work at being supportive of us also. Sure maybe their support dosen't show as boldly as a yellow ribbon tied around a tree... but if there were a Support our PMSing Women ribbon, I'm pretty sure J would have one on his car... and he'd even deserve a badge and a gold star or something! Someone give the man a button!

Anyways... all that to say that I think it's important to recongnize that both side of the relationship needs to be supportive and equally as understanding of the other party's limits.

Does that make any sense at all!? It's getting late and I had a coffee at 7h30 (brilliant, I know!)... and my fingers are getting more tired than my brain... or is it the other way around!?