P.i.s.s.e.d.

I don't remember when I was last this pissed off. Seriously.

I think the most frustrating part of it all is not having anyone to talk to about it to try and calm my fucking nerves down. With that, comes the realization that I feel really alone.I want a coffee date with Maggie because I know she'd get it.

Js is away so I can only vent to him to a certain extent. I mean, not much he can do and no sense in him being pissed off along with me while he's away. I have never wanted to be posted right the fuck out of here this badly. We love Moose Jaw, our home and the life that we've build for us here. Why is it that a bunch of egotistical, selfish, hypocrite bastards have to come in an make it seem worth leaving all behind?

It just irritates me to no end. Normally, I try to be rational and give my all to fix things and make it better. This time around, I just want to scream really. I'm done trying. I'm done giving people the benefit of the doubt. I'm done listening to reasons and excuses. I'm mad - deal with it.

This post isn't a cry for help or attention but a mere warning... I can just see the headlines "Military Wife Rips a New Asshole to Random Passerby".

Hi! I'm dehydrated, nice to meet you!

I'm a dry prune. The Prairies have done wonders to my skin but I can't sit here and blame the geographical area. I've had pretty much every skin conidition you can think of except acne (Thank the teeny baby Jesus!) and I'm pretty sure I'll have the next one they discover. My skin is dry and messed up, it's hereditary. My grand-ma has had horribly reactive skin her entire life and I remember being 8 years old and her telling me that I was going to be cursed too. Welcome hormones, too much sun and voila! I flake, I itch, I blemish, I have spots I can't explain. Lovely isn't it?!

Working in cosmetics has bee a savior! I'm very well aware of what my skin needs and it allowed me to load it with the right products at a discounted price. Since I've left retail *quivering chin* I have tried to find cheaper alternatives to no avail. I've gone back to my fail-proof favorites but the damage seems to be irrepairable. I blame cheap pharmacy brands. Death to them all!!

Enough excuses... I know the main problem(s) with my skin is(are) caused by my intense dehydration. (PS: Funny story. I spent 2 YEARS of my life saying "Dehydratation" much to the amusement of my staff and coworkers due to a typo on some signage. Great.)

The best way to address this is to obviously drink more water. Easier said than done!! I've been trying to drink more water but have not been very sucessful, *itch-itch* so now, I committ to you, dearest reader (yes, singular!) that :

1. I will make arrangements to have the water-cooler at work fixed and replenished.
2. I will bring a large water bottle at work and will do my best to refil it at least twice a day.
3. I will drink more water at home by carrying a refillable water bottle with me.
4. I will eat more fresh fruit and veggies daily.

Everytime I scratch at my skin, I will remind myself that :

1. Drinking more water leads to more peeing. More peeing leads to less work.
2. If I drank more water, I wouldn't be as hungry all the time. More water, less calories.
3. I get on Js' case when he bites his nails - he's allowed to get on my case about the itching.
4. The more I itch, the more I'll scar.
5. The more lotion I put on my skin, the more I can buy!! :)
6. I would rather be a blushing bride than a blotchy bride.

So, there. I'll do my best!