Slam?

I'm posting this seeing as it just might be the most hilarious Garfield comic strip I've ever read! Thought I'd share the joy!

I need help... and a label maker.

I have issues. Issues with over doing things, over thinking things and over everything-ing things. Especially - over calling Jf with stupid questions.

Back story - What else is a girl to do on Saturday nights than try to decide between ordering return address stickers or a stamp for cheaper for her Holiday cards? Yes, you read that right. Stickers. Stamp. Cards. Saturday. Help.

Sometimes I feel like I have these teeny people sitting on my shoulders. On one side, there's a bra-burning little bitch (and I use the term with affection!) who refuses to bake muffins and speaks way too loudly when drunk. On the other side, there's a little Martha who enjoys a nice quiche and warm apple cider on a cold autumn day, she likes pretty things and says "nice" alot.

The little Martha says : "It would be nice to have return address labels made in time to put them on the Holiday cards." Seconds later, I'm on the web, looking at prices and calculating delivery times... That's usually when the little Bitch starts poking at my neck with a pitch fork : "Wait! Let me get this straight! You are going to spend money to get something made with your address on it knowing very well that it will change in the next year and that you will NEVER (hopefully!) live in Vanier again? Am I getting this right? PLUS, you would risk sending all your Holiday cards late and you know how some people just LIVE for your cards!" (My little Bitch is a sarcasta-whore!)

Torn! I will never use them again, but it'll be a cute way of remembering our first home together VS. being reasonable with my money and time and waiting for next year! *sigh*

Attempt at solving this #1 : Comparing prices, delays, pros and cons and doing as best I can to ignore the sharp burning stab in my neck and the smell of warm gingerbread cookies - icing and all. No deal.

Attempt at solving this #2 : Calling to the all mighty powers of logic and wisdom of my Gay! *hehehe-snort* What else is a gay to do on a Saturday night at 10:30pm than to help solve his hag with her OCD dilemma!? I had to repeat myself a couple of times just to make sure he got all my pros and cons (established during attempt #1 and probably listed and color coded) and could make a sound recommendation. "Won't a funky colored pen do?" -- Clearly, he hasn't been listening. LABELS. Mama wants labels. Something I can just stick and it'll be insta-pretty. Something that makes it look like I've prepared for this since July. Yes, ladies and gents, I love it when people know how much of a giant loser I am! (Why else would I be boring you to tears with this!?) ... ... (Still there? Ya? Okay!)

Revelation : THAT... right there... is why I likes me a homosexual man. He said he'd try to print me some at work if I figured out a way to email him what I liked. Why you people aren't allowed to reproduce is beyond me! The world would be so much more wonderful. Bad taste would be banned. Coffee shops would appear at every street corner! Reality TV would take over the entire planet. *wonderment*... I think we're getting somewhere!

See - over thinking. I need help.

Back, by popular demand...

I decided to post this here since :
A) Facebook is pissing me off.
B) It'll give Nick something to read.
C) It'll give Chris something to do.

***

1. Do you smoke weed regularly?
No.

2. Have you kissed somebody in the last 3 days?
No. Thanks for reminding me.

3. Who’s the last persons house you went to?
Julie.

4. Miss someone?
Yes. Again, thanks for the reminder!

5. How's your ex doing?
Which one? Cause the answer goes from "pretty well" to "hopefully under a bus"...

6. Is there someone you want to fight?
No really.

7. Do you like someone right now?
Yez.

8. Song playing?
The song of silence.

9. What are you doing tomorrow?
Werk.

10. Do you know what sodomy is?
HA! Yes.

11. What's annoying you right now?
The plumbing in this damn place.

12. Do you want to go back to school?
Might go back to University part-time some day.

13. Have you ever watched a movie drunk?
Many, many times.

14. What were you doing last night?
Driving to and from Kanata and then driving to and from Hull.

15. Who did you ride in a car with last?
Julie and Veronique.

16. Are you tired?
Not sleepy but energy's kinda low.

17. Who will you be with today/tonight?
Werk chickies.

18. What kind of socks do you have?
Black.

19. What color is the shirt you are wearing?
Black. On my way to work...

20. What will you do Sunday?
Werk! *It's the most wonderful time, of the year!*

21. Last person to call you?
Babe.

24. Do you have any interesting bruises or scars?
Nope. I'm boring.

25. Where were you at noon today?
13 minutes ago I was probably in the kitchen.

26. How long does it take you to get ready to go out?
Depends on where/when/mood.

27. Have you been outside of Canada?
Yes.

28. The last text you received on your mobile was from?
Babe.

29. Last movie you watched?
Can't remember, but I'm sure it was better than HSM3.

30. Group dates or single dates?
Singles.

31. Do you wish at 11:11?
Kinda.

32. Is it cute when the opposite sex kiss you on your forehead?
Yes.

33. A big poofy dress or a short party dress?
Poofy.

34. What would you do if you received a long love letter?
*sob*

35. Do you have any piercings?
Ears.

36. Last person you hugged?
Mom.

The Who's

Who was the last person to hug you?
Mom.

Who did you talk to last?
Mom.

Who is your crush/boyfriend?
Babe.

Who can you tell everything to?
Babe.

Who's your funniest friend?
I can't pick just one...

Who's your most hyper friends?
JF

Who are the best friends of your life?
Maggizlors and Jf.

Who would be the best president out of all your friends?
If any of my friends make it there... something will have gone terribly wrong in the world...

Who's the biggest alcoholic?
Don't really care for kidding about those things...

Who do you hang out with on weekends?
POS 1 and 2 (K, I'm thieving Nick's answer because it A) made my day and B) is so true!)

Best Dressed?
Depends on mood.

Who was the first person you've ever crushed on?
JTT!

Who do you like?
Nice peeps and gays. *waves*

Who are you going to miss the most later in life?
My family.

Who likes you right now?
Babe.

Who lives the closest to you?
Jf.

The What's

What time is it?
12:18! Eeek! Gotta get to work soon!

What's your favorite possession?
*crikets*

What's the best way to spend Friday night?
Not driving to and from Kanata.

What's your favorite pick-up line?
"Hey! I'm moving to Kujjuaqu, wanna get it on?"

What are you wearing?
Black clothes.

What do you do when you're upset?
Cry. Eat. Preferably not at the same time.

What's the best snack in the world?
Ice cream.

What kind of clothes do you wear?
Black mostly.

What's one of your weird quirks that nobody really understands?
Fear of potatoes.

What's the worst taste ever?
... don't really wanna go there.

What body part on someone else is your favorite?
Dimples, eyes, shoulders, hands, butt... ... brb!

What is one turn-off when it comes to relationships?
Bore. Too serious. Lack of confidence and trust.

What is your favorite thing to do when you're home?
Amuse Jacko.

The Where's

Where was the last place you drove to?
Home from Hull last night.

Where is your favorite place to be?
Wherever Babe is.

Where is your favorite place to shop?
M to the T to the L.

Where are you during the day most?
Werk.

Where do you keep your clothes at home?
All over the place.

Where is your bed in your bedroom?
... read that question again and think about it...

Where is your best friend right now?
Probably at home or at work. In both cases.

Where do you want to go on vacation?
Wherever Babe is.

Where do you want to live when you're older?
Wherever Babe is.

Where is one place that you absolutely HATE?
Wherever Babe isn't.

The When's

When was the last time you showered?
This morning.

When did you last do something illegal?
Not gonna tell ya.

When is the best time to watch a movie?
When Babe's home.

When do you brush your teeth?
Morning

When do you like to sleep?
When Babe's home.

When was the last fight you were involved in?
Ages ago.

When was the last time you laughed?
At Nick's answer that I kept. (see above)

When will you go to college?
Been there, done that, got the t-shrit. (really!)

When do you want to get married?
When it's right...

When are you most happy?
When Babe's home.

When do you like to sing?
In my car with the windows TIGHTLY shut.

When do you like to play video games?
When Babe's home.

When was the last time you went out of state/province?
Last night, have you been paying attention? At all?

***

Done and done! So now that we got the boring quizzies out of the way, I promise never to post them again! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to work and try to come up with better things to write about tonight, I promise! :o)

So the phone rang and the store is insanely busy and 'perently showing up for work is not a priority for some people. Gotta run!

Immuna get mah chainsaw!

Thank you, Tim Hortons commercials, for reminding me exactly what poor advertising looks and sounds like. Thanks for pointing out how bad placement and poor creativity can ruin a campaign. Thanks for showing me how much funds you've invested into your latest series of adds instead of paying your employees fairly.

Thank you, La Senza, for pretending you can make bras bigger than a size B cup and selling it to me for $40. You've made me realize how much $40 is worth. Thanks for your support! Sarcasta-Pun intended.

Thank you, coin fed laundry machines, for stealing my money and leaving my clothes soaked. It reminded me that many people on this planet do not have the luxury of washing machines that spin and they have to twist and bend their clothes out of shape so they will dry sometime by the end of the week. Thank you for reminding me that CoinMatic still owes me a refund of $9.50 from last time you exploded into a puff of smoke... I'll get right on that! 10-4!

Thank you, Dr McCall. It's been 8 months since I've been trying to get a hold of you or one of your employees you like to call "receptionists". I believe they prefer the term "Flower-pattern-wearing-menopause-who's-dumber-than-a-box-of-hair-ist". Thank you for shedding some light on exactly how hard it is to find a decent family doctor. You've also brought to my attention that the medical field is a great field of work since you can work well into your 100s and diapers look great with scrubs. Thanks for not dying before December 4th, 3:20pm.

Thank you Ticket Master for being total idiots. Enough said. I will send my Gay to scream high-pitched curse words into your customer service specialist's ear until it falls off.

Thank you little-noise-in-my-shaky-window. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't know how great my ears are functioning and how much sleep is important. Also, thanks for letting me in on the action every time someone in the building does as much as fart.

Thank you hair. Thanks for making me look like I just escaped the Royal Ottawa and caught the next 85 to Carlingwood. Could you please ask whatever the fizzy nest that rests on my head is to be nice and resume it's place within the confined limits of my hair clip? That'd be just fab, thanks for not biting me!

Of change and wierd dreams...

Change.

So last night, I'm watching the election coverage on abc.com (Yay for no cable!) and I get a pinch of nervousness when I start to see too much red on the map... and then a bit of relief when I see the votes are bluer than the map... So clearly, I'm not hopping up and down about this election, but I know somewhat of what's going on and care to some level. I haven't been following the entire campaign because I couldn't help but think "They're screwed either way!" and I'm really disapointed in myself for thinking that.

Then, I'm sitting here and as history is made, Obama is elected, I'm distracted because my cat is playing with a toy and it's cute. Way cuter than TV or my lappy. Sometimes, I wonder, what everyone was doing when history was made? When the planes hit the towers, what was I doing? I was in highschool at the cafeteria quietly eating my lunch. When Obama was elected? I was playing fetch with my cat and talking on the phone with Js.

I'm not uber poilitical, Js is alot more involved/aware than I am for that kinda thing. We talked about the election as it happened and I was surprised that we thought/felt the same way about it. We both pretty much said the same thing at the same time. We hadn't talked about it at all until then and I was surprised/shocked that we were on the same wave length. Go us!

Wierd dreams.

I went to bed quite late last night and got out of bed quite late today. So, around 12:14pm I get a text message from Nick (about something so shamefull I won't go into detail!) and then fall right back asleep, but clearly, that message awoke the weirdness and my brain started sending me some pretty strange and quite specific and indepth images and thoughts.

So there was this talking Wrinkly Eye who sent Nick on a mission to retrieve the Chosen Pendant from the bottom of the sea. It had been lost by Wrinkly Eye's worst enemy, Dragon Neighbour.

... confused? Allow me to give you a back story... Wrinkly Eye was a man who was part of an organization along with a bunch of other men including Dragon Neighbour. These men were on a quest to solve a great big mystery and the knowlege they needed was inside that enganted Chosen Pendant. They all had to possess it for a certain amount of time and try to figure out a way to get the information from it. So Wrinkly Eye was the last on the list and Dragon Neighbour's turn was right before him. Dragon Neighbour was not a good man and took all the power in the pendant to turn himself into a dragon (hence the name!) and be all mighty and powerfull. When Wrinkly Eye's time came to have the pendant, Dragon Neighbour got annoyed at this little powerless man wanting to see the pendant so he turned him into a wrinkly eye (hence the name!) and lost the pendant into the sea so that he could remain forever powerfull.

Now, back to the story. So Wrinkly Eye met our fellow Nick and thought he'd be a good man for the job. He sent him on his mission and to his surprise, Nick was able to retrieve the pendant. What Nick didn't know was how much power rested in that pendant and everything that came along with it. On his way back to Wrinkly Eye, Nick started to discover some of the powers of the pendant like gaining control over all the animals from Africa and shrinking people's organs like raisins under the sun.

Nick returns to Wrinkly Eye's house only to get attacked by Dragon Neighbour (who clearly saw him, cause he lives right next door!) who wants his pendant back. Nick fights off the dragon and is able to shrink it's tongue with his new found powers. The dragon can't breath fire anymore without a tongue and dies a painfull painfull death.

The pendant is returned to Wrinkly Eye who's mission is now to figure out how to A) turn himself into a human again and B) discover the great power of the Chosen Pendant.

Now here's the strange part : He is so thankfull that he offers Nick his daughter in marriage and Nick accepts and they live happily ever after.

The end.

Thank god.

Ban krupty.

I seriously think I'm going nuts. Crazy. Loony. Wackadoo. Bonkers.

I hate it when I'm convinced of something and then someone tells me otherwise like it's a well known fact. *arg!* Like when people tell you the sky is blue your whole life and then wake up one morning and decide to screw with your brain and start telling you it's red and look at you like you must be deranged or something thinking the damn thing was blue... Am I the only one who ever feels like that!?

I remember having conversations, vivid images carved into my brain... and now it appears it was all a dream or someone's been sneaking some pretty amazing crack in my drinks. (Maybe living in Vanier does have it's perks!) I seriously don't know what's wrong and I'm so annoyed. I feel dumb. There's not a worst feeling in the world for me. I know I'm a goof sometimes and I say some pretty lame things and come up with some pretty ("You see that bar there...") stoopid ideas... but I like to think that underneath it all, lies a person with a considerable dose of intelligence and wisdom, somewhat. The feeling of that teeny-person being on some kind of very very strong substance (or as Chris likes to call them : "Fucked up shit") makes me kinda nervous...

I can't think. I can't focus. I can't talk to my mom on the phone without growing very impatient (even more so than usual!) and I'm even growing annoyed at the noise of the clickity-click of the keys...

Elections are happening and it's 207 for Obama and 135 for McCain (juice box!) and I'm PMSing like it's going out of style.

It's not easy being Rosie.

Pretty normal Saturday in the life of me. Work was pretty good, must say. Did lots and digitz were kinda sweet! ;o) I've been slaving over some mock schedules that I need to prepare by next week and the more I get done, the more I realize that it's a great preparation even if I'm going to have to change it all anyways in a couple of weeks... *sigh* Gotta love retail!

Last night was fun. It almost didn't happen because Jf wasn't feeling too too great but he decided to go out anyways and I was thrilled cause I didn't really want to stay home alone in my Rosie the Riveter costume. *lame* We headed to Club Edge in an orange Batmobile and Nick and his bunch eventually showed up. We didn't stay uber long due to Jf's not-so-healthy-feeling and a these-hand-cuffs-don't-have-a-release-button incident. (Don't look at me! *points at Jf*)

I was really disapointed/surprised at how many people didn't know who Rosie the Riveter was. I know many people don't know her name and I'm not judging, 'cause I sure as hell didn't until a couple of months ago. I knew the icon and what it stood for. I knew why it was and where it came from. I got a ton of "Oh! It's the girl from the tampax commercials!" and that kinda thing. I'm kinda disapointed about that. Really? Is that what she represents now? Tampax. *mumbles something about loving/hating branding passionately*

My thoughts : She represents progress. She represents courage and strength. She represents determination and "thinking outside the box". She inspired many women to make a stand and do what they wanted.

Sure... sure, women were paid alot less than men and they were not always treated fairly for the work they provided. The point is : they did it. It was a start and they were fearless and they were determined to make a difference. Everyday I go to work, every time I drive my car and everytime I don't have to ask my "husband" the right to hang out with my girlfriends, I'm pretty darn happy these headstrong women did what they thought was right, even if it was the exact opposite of what was expected of them.

That's what Rosie means to me. I'm sure it wasn't all bunnies and roses... but I chose to see the positive side. It wouldn't be a story unless it had two sides.