Thursday, November 6, 2008

Immuna get mah chainsaw!

Thank you, Tim Hortons commercials, for reminding me exactly what poor advertising looks and sounds like. Thanks for pointing out how bad placement and poor creativity can ruin a campaign. Thanks for showing me how much funds you've invested into your latest series of adds instead of paying your employees fairly.

Thank you, La Senza, for pretending you can make bras bigger than a size B cup and selling it to me for $40. You've made me realize how much $40 is worth. Thanks for your support! Sarcasta-Pun intended.

Thank you, coin fed laundry machines, for stealing my money and leaving my clothes soaked. It reminded me that many people on this planet do not have the luxury of washing machines that spin and they have to twist and bend their clothes out of shape so they will dry sometime by the end of the week. Thank you for reminding me that CoinMatic still owes me a refund of $9.50 from last time you exploded into a puff of smoke... I'll get right on that! 10-4!

Thank you, Dr McCall. It's been 8 months since I've been trying to get a hold of you or one of your employees you like to call "receptionists". I believe they prefer the term "Flower-pattern-wearing-menopause-who's-dumber-than-a-box-of-hair-ist". Thank you for shedding some light on exactly how hard it is to find a decent family doctor. You've also brought to my attention that the medical field is a great field of work since you can work well into your 100s and diapers look great with scrubs. Thanks for not dying before December 4th, 3:20pm.

Thank you Ticket Master for being total idiots. Enough said. I will send my Gay to scream high-pitched curse words into your customer service specialist's ear until it falls off.

Thank you little-noise-in-my-shaky-window. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't know how great my ears are functioning and how much sleep is important. Also, thanks for letting me in on the action every time someone in the building does as much as fart.

Thank you hair. Thanks for making me look like I just escaped the Royal Ottawa and caught the next 85 to Carlingwood. Could you please ask whatever the fizzy nest that rests on my head is to be nice and resume it's place within the confined limits of my hair clip? That'd be just fab, thanks for not biting me!

No comments:

LinkWithin3

Related Posts with Thumbnails