Moving Update

Our stuff left today in a giant orange van for Saskatchewan. Movers came to pack everything yesterday and different people came back today to put it all in a big truck and send it on it's way. They were so quick and efficient, we were able to clean up after them as they were loading everything and we were done cleaning the apartment by 3pm. Go us!

Now we're in a Hotel room and we're dead tired. It's been an exhausting couple of days! We have the day "off" tomorrow but it feels like we have more stuff to do that the last 2 days combined.

I haven't been able to sleep for the last couple of weeks. Going to bed at 3am and my stomach hating me... But now it's 9:30pm and all I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep until tomorrow afternoon. It's great to feel human again!

Full report coming soon. G'night!

Stomach = Knots.

15 minutes before I leave to meet up with my man at the airport! His flight isn't delayed... He'll be here so soon!

I came home after breakfast with Jf this morning to do some last minute things before he came home... but all I can do is stand there and stare and look at my watch and stare some more at these four walls. I can't wrap my mind around anything and I can't focus for shit. Makes for a promising drive to the airport in this weather! *ugh*

So, I must go! I thought a short blurb was in order considering my next ones are probably going to be quite long and a bit all over the place...

I want to scream into a pillow.

Emotional breakdown begins... now.

Sob. Sob. Sob. It's all I seem to be able to do these past couple of days. It's the only thing I do with any motivation. Not that I want to be an emotional wreck but it just seems to be the only thing I can justify doing. I have to-do lists the length of my arm yet I don't seem to be able to peel myself away from the nostalgia of leaving this place, this city, my family and friends. Everything always seems to be gravitating around that and it makes it hard for me to be productive doing the shit that needs to get done.

Part of me may think it's the evil evil denial wall of doom that just hit, part of me thinks it's just normal. Needless to say, I'm a bit confused about my feelings towards all of this.

My parents organized me a dinner, earlier this week, with my family and some close friends. I was really happy to see everyone enjoying themselves. I was strong and held a smiling face up until I got into Maggie's car for the drive back to Ottawa. I was so proud of myself for not breaking down in front of everyone. I knew I was going back home over the weekend to spend some quality time with my parents so I told a few people who I didn't get a chance to talk to as much as I would have liked that I'd drop by. Which is what I did today, hence this Saturday-night-sob-fest.

I'm really glad I did but now I can't stop crying. In an attempt at getting the feelings out, I wrote everyone who came to my dinner a thank you card which turned into more of a letter for some. It helped with the "getting over it" but not as much with the "getting some sleep" part.

Now, tomorrow (or maybe even tonight, depending on how much sleep I get) I have to finish up on all my pre-move cleaning/sorting. I'm going for breakfast with Jf to spend a bit of quality time and some preventive freak-out measures.

I have absolutely no clue what to expect when the movers walk in here on Monday morning. None. I hope Js has a good grasp on what's supposed to happen cause it's really all a blur on this side of things.

I've been waiting for so long for things to move so fast, my head is spinny.

Photographs.

In my efforts to fix the living room so it's somewhat presentable for when the movers come and rip it apart... I stumbled across my old box of photos and a couple of old albums. Oh my!

There were a couple of photos of my friend Rosa. How I miss her! We have a great friendship and trust that's lasted all these years. We don't get to talk very often but every time we do, it's like just yesterday we were hanging out... I wish we could be closer, I wish we would make more time to call eachother. It's one of those friendships where you don't tell yourself "I have to call her cause she'll think I don't care!" because you know she'll care regardless of the time or the distance...

I found so many old photos of Maggie and I and the gang... High School, College and everything in between. It's nuts! Our first, second and third apartment, our fish, old jobs, Canada Day at Maggie's place... It almost hurt my eyes a bit at times. This was back in the wait-I-have-to-put-film-in-my-camera days! Oh the memories! We were so young, we've changed so much!

I found so many photos of Js, it's kinda hilarious! I found some photos of his old gray hoody... I remember it perfectly from high school. It looked so comfy! I totally forgot that he'd spent Canada Day with us the year we had mini fire works thingys. I also found some photos of him when he played in the band while I was in the play. My uncle just took a photo of the entire band and some close up of the musicians... and there he is, a not-even-facial-hair-young'un! I found some pics of our graduation and he was sitting one row in front of me, a couple of people down. There are a few were you can clearly see his face between the graduation hats... clear as day! There he is! *giggles with giddyness*

Who would have thought that, a couple of years from then, I'd be moving half way across the country to live with him? I would never have guessed that the man who would make me this happy was just right there... a couple of feet away. Did he know that he was perfect for me but got scared away by my giant-hockey-playing-boyfriend!?

A while ago I heard about this theory that you don't really see something until you know it exists, even if it was always there...

Single digits - Day 2

So we're down to single digits! That's right! 4 sleeps until babe gets home and 8 sleeps until our flight to Saskatchewan. Still 9 sleeps until we get our house and 10 sleeps until Jack is with us again... but once I get out there, I don't think I'll be holding on to my countdowns as crazily as I am now!

I feel like I still have a week worth of stuff to do and only a couple days to squeeze everything in! I want to spend time with my people, I want to make sure everything is ready, I want to do everything! I did the same thing before Js came home for the Holidays, but there was always room for error. If I forgot to do something before he got here, we could do it together. This time, nope! As soon as he gets here, we'll be in full moving mode and there's nothing I can say or do about it!

I'm glad we were able to find a solution for getting Jack out there and to our new home. Js is being so supportive and so nice about this whole thing. I can't believe he will actually drive out to go get him. *swoon* The man knows the way to my heart, what can I say! ;o)

I'm starting to get bored with not working and I think it's due focusing on the fact that I'm not working. I think once this move is over and we're settling down in our new home, I'll enjoy the non-work factor. I'll be able to spend some quality time with Js and enjoy our time together, finally.

He's going on a course out here in Cornwall (of course!) in April. This means that we have a month of time to spend together, I have a month to learn to drive standard and to make friends. March will be a busy busy month for us!

I think it will be a huge change for Js too, once I get out there. Sure, I'm stressing out about this move but he is too. When I get out there, he'll have to get used to having me around again and having his home right there. He'll be able to live in his things again, play his music, set up his monster-of-a-computer, get a dog and watch him chew on his own furniture! He won't come home to a roomate everyday, he'll come home to me. I can't wait to come home to someone other than Jack cause even if he's beyond happy when I come home, it's just not the same! When Js was here during the Holidays, the only thing motivating me to leave my comfy bed in the morning was that I was going to come home to a hot hot man 8 hours later.

I miss him. I miss doing random things together. Every day stuff like the dishes, dinner, watching a moving, shopping for stuff for our home... *mmm*

4 sleeps and he'll be here. 4 sleeps and things will just fall right into place!

Let the weird dreams begin...

I haven't really had any wedding related dreams... until last night. It was strange. So strange.

It was at the ceremony, not the reception and it was the rehearsal. All the guests were there and there were random people sitting in the first rows the parents usually sit. Yes, it was at my church from when I was little. We were sitting in the 3rd row just about because everywhere else was full.

The priest asked us to come up to the front and practice the "unity candle" thing... which... I really really really don't want. So as we walked up, I didn't want everyone to see me rip the priest a new one so I kinda whispered to him that we didn't ask for that. He told me that he'd ordered some special candles for us to use and didn't want them to go to waste... so we gave in. The said candles has a little Jesus head on the top... like right next to the wick. So when we burned them, the little head melted and it was kind of creepy. That was the slowest melting Jesus I've ever seen.

Then, we go back to standing at the front of the isle in front of everybody and the priest tells us that we have to stand on either side because we are blocking the view. I had to explain to people sitting in the first pew that they'd had to sit in the second one for the real ceremony because this is where our family will sit and they looked at me like I'd just melted a teeny wax Jesus... which I did. I think we must have secretly crawled out and no one noticed because next thing I knew, we were outside, behind the church trying to figure out how much it would cost us to rent some chairs.

It was weird to actually see it and even weirder to see Js and I give in to what the priest wanted. (Especially the creepy creepy melting saints!) It seemed like everything that was happening was exactly the opposite of what we said we wanted.

It might be this we're-leaving-soon-and-won't-be-here-to-do-any-of-the-planning fear looming over me. I'm sure it won't be the last weird dream, but for a first one, it was totally acceptable... especially because it ended with Js and I going back to doing exactly what we wanted! :) Go us!

Weeks before moving according to RLepage

According to the Royal Lepage "It's your move" planner's checklists, if you follow their instructions and checklists and planning tools, everything should go smoothly.

I decided to add a couple of things of my own to their well thought out plans.

4 Weeks before moving :

• Begin to use up frozen food and staples.
  
  • I don't think you should start doing that 4 weeks before the move. 2-1 weeks should be fine. Otherwise, 1 week before the move you'll find yourself without peanut butter (or some other equally important condiment) and debate buying a small jar just to make it to the end of the week... Wait, eat your food as you normally would when you're in college thinking "This butter needs to last me another week at least..."
  • Don't try to eat everything just for the sake of eating it. Hold on to it until 1 week before the move and whatever you don't get a chance to eat by then can be donated to a friend or a local shelter. I'm sure they will make good use of it. You don't want to eat stuff you normally wouldn't or over stuff yourself with pie because if you're anything like me, with stress comes heartburn.
    
• Decide which items should be discarded or donated to charity.
  
  • Pick and choose what is worth for you to move and what isn't. Sure, there's a ton of stuff you might not want to bring because they are old and it's always more fun to start fresh with new furniture. Before you decided to discard your couch, make sure you'll have somewhere to sit when you get to your new house! Either purchase your new furniture in advance and arrange for delivery the day after you arrive at destination or move your old stuff and donated when you've found a brand-spankin'-new replacement.
  • Moving costs a ton. Sure, relocating services allow for some reasonable claims but there are a ton of other spending opportunities you can't plan in advance... so you might not be able to go and spend a couple of hundred bucks on your first week at your new home to replace that dinning room set you should have kept. Keep it, move it then get rid of it if you must.
  • When it's all said and done at the end of the day, I'm sure I'll be dead tired, exhausted and emotionally drained. I'll love the comfort of my old futon even if it only becomes a secondary basement couch, it'll be a great home-sickness-support-friend.
  • If you have pets with favorite furniture (a chair, a cushion or in Jack's case, a box) consider moving them so your pets won't be completely lost. They'll take great comfort into finding their long lost pal at their new home. Consider keeping them until your pet has adjusted and found a new favorite spot.
    
• Arrange for transfer of records
  
  • This one is tricky. Most service providers (phone, hydro, roof-over-your-head) ask for 60 days notice before terminating your services. I recommend that you call them as soon as you know you are going to move eventually and finding out how much notice they require. You might want to do that a bit before the 4 weeks mark otherwise you'll end up paying cancellation fees or for services you won't even be here to use. (Thanks, Bell!) You can make arrangements with Relocation Services but remember that you have to foot the bills and provide proof of payment before getting reimbursed.
  • Make sure to get confirmation numbers for your cancellations to be able to track any extra charges they might try to smack on that last invoice.
  • Some doctors might ask that you visit them to make sure everything is in order before they can transfer any records so plan this far enough in advance to accommodate your schedule and your doctor's availability. (Make sure to stock up on reps or prescriptions about a month before the move to make sure you don't get effed. Especially if you are moving to a different province/country.)

3 Weeks before moving :

• Arrange transportation of pets.
  
  • Don't even get me started on this one. Keep in mind, when booking your flight, that relocating services don't book any arrangements for pets. You have to do that yourself. Make sure, when RS books your own travel arrangements that they can accommodate your pets to travel with you. Otherwise, it's a huge pain in the ass (see last post) !!
  • Make sure you have somewhere for your pets to stay during the move. There will be a lot of strangers, coming and going and stepping on paws.
    
• Return anything that needs to be returned.
  
  • I've been running around like a headless chicken returning stuff here and there it seems. I had a couple of things in a bag by the door that I kept forgetting to return to the store. It's now or never!
  • Make sure you get everything and anything you've let friends borrow. If they still have it, I'm not sure they'll happily mail it to you once you're hundreds of kilometers away.
    
• Dispose of flammables.
  
  • Ladies, this includes nail polish, nail polish remover, hair spray. (Nail polishes can be tucked away in your checked luggage because it's not in a pressure can and so teeny!)
    
  • This also includes spot treatments for clothes (like Spray n' wash!) so going to Costco and buying a large quantity of it before moving because it's nice and cheap is not always the best idea in the world.

So this where I'm at now. This is what I've learned so far and was able to recollect over the last 15 minutes. I still have 3 check lists to go : 1 week before moving, Packing day and Moving Out day. I'll blog those as they happen (or as I deal with them). Hope this helps anyone, relocating with the CF or not. It's a really stressful time and this is how I manage things. By over-planning, over-thinking and over-wasting-time-doing-anything-else-but.

Jack doesn't like butt probes.

First things first : Royal-Lepage-Relocating-Services-Lady can lick my left nut. Yes, I will grow one especially for her. She asked us if we had a pet that needed to travel with us... Js said yes. She then proceeded booking our flight with an air carrier that dosen't allow pets to travel at this time of year. They don't send out planes with heated cargo to Regina and don't allow you to keep your pets with you. Joy! So now, we have to book him on a different flight with a different carrier and, get this, fly him to Winnipeg. Which means that he has to leave Ottawa the day after us and we have to leave Moose Jaw as soon as we get there to go pick him up in Winnipeg then drive back because our stuff is scheduled to arrive on that day at the earliest. I don't know how we are going to pull it off... especially since I don't drive stick yet so Js will have to do all the driving. I thought we could maybe stay at a hotel for one night in Winnipeg to give us a bit of rest, but we'll have to see with the movers when we'll need to be at the house for the unpacking process... *ugh!*

It's so stupid... If it's your job, in life, to book flights for people who are relocating and you can't even do that properly... I think it's time for you to find another job and stop ruining people's lives. Jack has to endure a flight by himself AND a 7h car drive. Ouch!

As for the butt probes, it was Jack's visit at the Vet's today. We needed to make sure that he was healthy before throwing him on a plane (by himself!) and maybe get some sedatives or something, just in case! The Vet was really nice and my cat done me proud!

I've been telling him for a week that we're going to Canned Tuna Fest 2009 so he was eager to get in his cage and be on his way. SURPRISE! When we get to the Vet's I let him out of his cage and he starts sniffing around like the dog that he is and the Tech keeps telling me that he's a lovely little cat and very well behaved... *cough* I tell her to give him a minute. So she tries to weigh him and he give in, he thinks she's petting him, we're good!

Then she asks me if he's used to having his temerature taken...? Hum... no. So she pulls out the little thermometer and asks me if I think I can hold him. Thinking he'll be at least calmer if it's me holding him down while she shoves a cold steal thing up his hole, I give it a go. She shows me how and then proceeds with attempt number one. *meow-meow-hiss-meow* Fail. She leaves to get the Vet.

Jack's now aware that these nice people are not there to cuddle him and he's wondering what the hell happened to Canned Tuna Fest 2009 so makes an escape to the top of the cabinets and I can't reach him. It took 2 stepping stools, a vet and a tech with gloves up to their elbows to get him down. NOT a happy kitteh. So they go ahead with probe attempt number two. *meow-meow-hiss-meow-kick* Fail.

They get the receptionist and now there are two people holding my cat down and one trying to find his wee a-hole in all that fur... *meow-hiss-meow-kick-kick-meOW-hiss* She got it... but according to the thermometer he's 29.5 degrees so something tells her that it didn't stay in long enough because Mister Kitteh here wouldn't stop kicking. Fail. Surrender.

I told the Vet she should at least take him out for a nice Tuna dinner first or something, she can't expect my cat to just "get down" like that... We had a good laugh and she made a note on his file to take him out to dinner next time. :o)

Otherwise I'm happy to report that Jacko is perfectly healthy, his coat is in perfect shape and his lungs and heart are fab. YAY for my cat! *beams with pride*

Breathe.

Right now, I'm taking a breather from cleaning this apartment for the last time. I've got the movers coming in for an appraisal tomorrow and then there's a showing at 3pm, hopefully, I'll be bringing back my empties at that time because : A) The quantity shameful. B) I really really don't want to be here. I don't want to meet the strangers who are considering living in this place.

This place went from "my place" to "Vero's and my place" to "Js' and my place"... it's a good thing these walls only have ears... cause they'd have way too much to say. Sure, the place is kinda crummy, the plumbing sucks, it's either too hot or too cold at all times, the kitchen floor hates me and the utilities are ancient, but it's MY place. Sure, Js lives here too but it's mine in the sense that I picked it, it's mostly furnished with my stuff the way that I want it and I've been here for 2 years and some... All my memories for the last 2 years brings me back here.

I got this apartment, my very first apartment all to myself, on my birthday. It was awesome! I had cake with my parents standing in an empty kitchen with plastic cutlery. I also, a couple of days later, ate some St-Hubert take-out on the living room floor with very little lighting coming fom the closet bulb with Vero. I was so happy about my new place and now I'm sad to leave it.

When I rented this place, I sure as hell did not think I would be leaving it for a duplex in Bushell Park, Saskatchewan. I would probably leave it for a larger apartment a bit more towards the west end of the city or maybe even a small condo. I planned on living her for a couple of years and then getting something bigger, settling down and doing the normal thing. Things have changed and my plans kinda did a 180 on me... and that's perfectly fine. I wouldn't have it any other way. It just makes me realize how much life has changed over the past 2 years. How much I have changed.

Now, I know what I want from this life. I don't know where I'm going but I know I want to be there. I don't know who else will be there with me but I know Js will be.

I'd told myself that I would paint if I stayed here more than a year. That didn't happen. One year into living here, I couldn't even commit to a pair of pants in the morning. (Oh! Anna Nalick! You always play on the radio at the perfect time! I swear I named this post way before!) I never set up any curtains other than the bathroom and the kitchen. I didn't want to punch holes in the ancient plaster walls and I didn't really care. I loved my floors but I never washed them. I thought this place was quite big for the price and the layout was perfect but I complained all the time about lack of storage and space.

This was Jack's first official house with me. Sure, he lived at Marianne's for a little bit, but I only accepted to keep him because I knew I was moving out... so the adventure of Jack and me started here. I've associated my cat with "home" as much as these walls. He'll miss the wide windows and lack of closet door resistance.

This teeny little space represented my ability to provide for myself, to be independent ; it gave me a sense of freedom. I've established that and I proved to myself that I could do this. I have the confidence of being able to do anything I set my mind to. Now it's time to prove myself something else... and with the challenge that awaits, I'm sure I'll be given plenty of opportunity to do so.

G'bye little apartment! As of tomorrow, you're as much mine as the people who are coming to contemplate living here. I hope the walls keep their mouths shut.

Musings on Nickelback's "music"...

I'm trying to figure out what is up with Nickelback's music and the more I listen to it or investigate anything about their songs... it hurts my ears and my brain.

Firstly, I think it's pretty well known that most their songs sound EXACTLY alike, except with different lyrics (we'll get back to those a bit later) slapped on and maybe a bit more or less drums. Tone of voice, melody, base/guitar mix... same, same, same! Js told me once that he mixed a bunch of tracks together back in the day when that kind of thing would entertain him... and the result was quite deceiving and not surprising at all. You can layer these musical part right on top of one another and you'll either : hear no difference at all or find another one of their tunes. I wonder sometimes if that's how they come up with "new" songs... Let's take the guitar melody from this one, and the base from this other one, merge them together and BAM! Fresh money in our pockets! This is only my opinion and I'm probably the least musically talented person in the universe. I can't play music or sing, I can barely clap my hands in tune but I know what sounds good and what sounds bad. I know what sounds flat and what sounds the same. This sound the same.

Before I dig any deeper, I'm going to come clean and say it. I own a couple of their albums, I've seen them in concert and I like some of their songs. Even if they all sound the same it dosen't mean that they all sound bad. Nickelback goes back (!) a long way... from high school dances to car rides with friends... it's all cool! Dosen't mean that I'm not allowed to be annoyed with them sometimes... Their concert was great and fun and I really enjoyed seeing them live, mostly because they didn't sound like the radio makes them sound like, they were funny and it allowed me to notice their drummer a bit more. He's amazingly talented and hot to boot.

I promise we'd get back to the lyrics... Notice how they have these great ballads, love songs, meaningful and sentimental... It's mostly what gets the girls to swoon, buy their albums and scream at concerts. I'm thinking about "Far Away", "Photograph" and the recent "Gotta be somebody"... So deep in meaning and filled with a great message for their targetted crowd.

Then they come out with shit like "Animals" and other similar songs about sex, drugs and rock and roll... F**k the world, I'm getting laid! That's what gets the boys to go "F'ck yeah!" buy their albums and jump around at concerts. And they're not even being subliminal about it... I mean, you have to stop and listen at lyrics sometimes and think "Some 12 year old somewhere has NO idea what they are singing along to!" I don't think that pop culture should constantly sensor itself to protect the "virgin ears" of the young'uns... but com'on! Get an identity and stick with it, fuck!

Sometimes I feel as though Nickelback is a great band that's just being too submissive to what's expected of them. Nothing gets you out of being considered "soft-rock" like a song about getting head and vice-versa. "Oh! They're saying we're too crude, let's write a song about love and saving the planet! They'll buy into that, they're all 14 anyways!"

There are so many Nickelback carbon-copies out there now... I know they helped many bands gain more popularity and that's a great "big brother" thing to do. Still, when I hear a song on the radio and think it's Nickelback... what does that tell me about the actual band behind the tune?

A couple years ago I went to a Jeff Martin concert and before the concert, he played a clinic at a different location and he said something that I repeat to myself every time I hear a band trying to get on the "Nickelback train"... A guy in the audience asked : Do you have any advice for bands these days who are trying to stay away from copying Nickelback and who are trying to make it on their own, with their own sound?

"I think any young band who's courageous enough to stick with their own sound is worth a listen. So many bands are doing things similar to what Nickelback is doing and if that's what works for them, then great, but I don't think it has any durability. Nickelback had a huge sucess and a fast ticket there so it's normal to have people try to copy that. It's hard to differenciate yourself from something so huge in the industry, but it's equally important. The Nickelback guys are really talented, but let them do their thing, it's theirs. I say, do your thing and stick to it... That's what Nickelback did in the first place!"

Well said, Martin, well said!