Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Onions in my mailbox

I had a slight melt down this afternoon. The worst yet since moving out here.

I have to pat myself on the back because I think I've been holding it together quite nicely for the last month and a bit. Now, with Js being gone away on training, I've been feeling more lonely but I put so much effort into keeping busy, it's actually working.

I got a package from my aunt this afternoon and it just did me in. She sent me some little gifts and a picture album with some family photos. She wrote me a nice letter and I couldn't even read it more than once over so I put it back into the photo album and it'll be my lifeboat when I miss her.

I also got a card from my grand-parents. *sob* My grand-pa is sick and being away from him is much harder than I thought. He is doing okay right now but that can change from one day to the next and knowing that I won't be able to run to him if ever something happens is eating me up inside.

Back home, I'd miss Js so much and have regular mental breakdowns like this one. I'd go for coffee with Maggie and it would usually settle the situation and help me make it through another week without him.

Missing him is nothing like missing my family. I don't miss them in the same way, it's a totally different kind of "miss".

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