I don't feel old but I know I'm not getting any younger. I remember being 13 years old and thinking "I want to be married, have a career and start having kids by the time I'm 26!" ...then life happened.
I haven't been married yet but that will be resolved this summer. Not exactly as per my innocent schedule but close enough. Over the last year, my Mom's been making comments about how long she's had to wait for me to finally get married and how she'd totally given up hope of me ever getting married. It does not make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to hear her say that. I know she wants all the best for me and she wants to see me forever happy in love but ... ouch - that was kind of harsh! As for me, I don't have a problem with getting married at this point in my life and I don't think I've failed myself by not getting married sooner. I'm glad I waited around for the right guy to magically appear and take me away to Saskatchewan.
As for the career, well... the whole Saskatchewan part kinda took a large poo on that. I had a good thing going for me in Ottawa but I haven't found any opportunities to pursue my career out here in friendly Moose Jaw. It pushed me to learn new things and do a whole lot of soul searching. I'm still looking for a new passion as I slave away behind a desk. At least I can look back and know that I did something I loved once. Some people go their entire lives hating their jobs and that's my silver lining.
As for the kids well we're just not quite there yet. In a way, if it were to happen I think we'd be thrilled! On the other hand, I don't think we're quite ready just yet to stop trying not to conceive. We both want kids and we both don't want to wait too late *tic toc* but we're in no rush to get there before we're ready. We want to have a child for the right reasons not only because it's the right time. Js has been talking a lot more about babies and the such lately and I have to say I'm a bit terrified because I think his clock is ticking faster than mine. I might change my tune when the wedding is over and all that but for now, waiting is best.
Looking at all this, I think I did fairly well. Even if I don't have kinds, I'm not married yet and I don't have a career anymore - I feel like I've accomplished more than I ever thought I could. You can't plan life according to your age because time doesn't stop ticking until you're ready for it to start again. I am in a committed and loving relationship more so than I've ever been in my whole live, I have had a career, loved it and learned a lot about myself and I'm considering the idea of having kids now which is more than I could have said if you'd asked me this question 3 years ago.
I think I've done fairly well and I can tap my 13 year old self on the back for a job well done.
5 comments:
Mike's little uterus is ticking too, so I know the fear you're dealing with lol. It'll happen when you want it to happen!
Oy... I know how you feel! The worse part is, you eventually grow out of it and are stung tooo.. haha How pathetic is it that I'm looking for jobs according to potential for mat leave!? ;) Can I totally scare you and tell you I have a folder full of ideas to decorate a nursery?! Sometimes I surprise myself and my split personnality, the side that isn't ready for babies yet, emerges, and goes, WTF!?! ;) I've even come to loathe the typical baby comments from people (dear lord, my mom!), and it's not even because I can't take the pressure anymore, it's because I want kids more than they do and it annoys me so that they don't realize the reasons why we're not trying just yet... oy! There, spilled my beans, had to happen at some point.. ;) We SO need coffee... haha :)
Thanks Erin! I have to admit I spit out my coffee through my nose at "Mike's little uterus"... haha! That's awesome!
I can't say I'm much surprised at the folder with the nursery stuff because... well... it's you. :) I knew it was coming and I think the comments from people suck. They wouldn't make those comments if you wanted kids but couldn't for medical reasons... why make them when it's your choice to wait? Ugh.
Yes, coffee is needed. Hedgehog Mocha even. :) <3
My mom wasn't too keen on me moving to Shilo "without a ring", and I asked her if she really thought it wise to agree to marry a man I'd only known for 6 months?
Then she comes out to visit and complains that we "haven't given her grand-babies" yet. WTF?
I hate the pressures and expectations of society. If you are happy with your life, then kudos to you :) I'd personally love (KILL!) to be in your position ;) congrats to you :)
Um nom nom.. :)
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